I don't know about you folks, but I very often struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Not smart enough, pretty enough or whatever other human qualifiers I'm not enough of. Sure, self-loathing can be humbling, but it also makes you kind of hate yourself.
I'm constantly asking myself questions like: "Why don't you have a better job?" or "Why are you still not married?" or my personal favorite, "Why aren't you as pretty as that girl?" and my answers always end up with me telling myself the same thing: "Because you aren't good enough."
The saddest part of it all is that I know I'm not alone. We all struggle with feelings of inadequacy.
It's easy to identify all of the things you suck at and even easier to beat yourself up about them. For most of us in Western civilization, it's hard not to equate your value with how many likes and shares you receive, how many followers you have or worst of all, how you compare to those around you. Admit it, we all love to hate that girl from high school with the perfect life on Instagram and 10K followers.
But the funny thing about self-loathing? It makes everyone else loathe you too.
When I think of all of the people I've met that I can't stand, most of them had one thing in common: they didn't like themselves. When you think about that Instagram girl from high school, do you ever stop to think about why her life comes across so great and why everyone is drawn to her? Maybe it has something to do with her knowing what works for her and taking advantage of that knowledge.
I used to spend way too much time listening to that self-deprecating voice in my head. The "You aren't good enough" girl. So much so that I allowed it to swallow me whole.
What I realized though, was all of that negativity and self-doubt was projecting itself into the world around me.
So instead of wallowing in my sorrow and my 'woe is me' mentality, I decided to listen to the people around me. Those who knew me and loved me for exactly who I was. I began to look at myself through their eyes and realized how much time I wasted worrying about the good enough's.
Instead, my focus became what I was already enough of. Which turns out, was a lot.
I stopped comparing myself to others, I stopped getting jealous of people of the internet (let's face it, we all only show off the good stuff anyway) and most importantly, I stopped being so hard on myself.
I embraced that sure I'm not married, but I'm happy and in love. Sure I'm not as pretty as that girl, but I also have yet to give birth so my vagina has to be in better shape than hers. Sure I don't have a great job, but I'm not homeless and that fucking rocks.
I guess what I'm getting to here is that sure, life isn't perfect, but it's yours. Don't sulk and hate yourself, just have fun and love all of the good stuff going on. The world will notice.
