I will never forget the way I felt as I woke up on November 9th. In those first moments of consciousness, the rawest forms of my thoughts and feelings hit me at full force. Waves of hopelessness, heartbreak, fear, and disappointment rolled through me in larger quantities than my heart has ever experienced. My 'optimistic-without-fail' nature just let all of this happen, without putting up much of a fight.

I felt as if I may have been disillusioned. For my entire life, I had assumed the absolute best in humanity in a fierce and unwavering fashion, but in that moment, I was ready to accept that maybe I had misjudged.

I was so, so tired. It was a deep sort of tired, rooted in a fight that began decades ago. I will be tired for a long time.

I am sad and so sorry that so many of you felt so dissatisfied and ignored by our nation that you were able to overlook the hate that fueled so much of Mr. Trump's campaign. I am sorry that I cannot understand that right now. I am trying my hardest to understand your decision. I hope that you know that. But, I hope that you understand why I am struggling to do so. I hope that you understand that I cannot separate the man who promised you change and a better America from the man who has consistently validated and even openly promoted such racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, and hate. They are the same man. You voted for the whole package. I am struggling to understand the fact that we watched the same debates and speeches, followed the same campaigns, and heard the same words, yet you were able to overlook the very things that disturbed and frightened me the most. As I try to understand your decision, I hope that you can try to understand why so many of us are grieving this week.

I am heartbroken, America, but hopeful. Stunned, but not defeated. Fearful, but determined. We are broken, but justice and love have more incentive to shine than ever before, and I am ready to push them through. I am inspired by so many of the words and actions following the election that have been filled with such grace and hope. I want our country to succeed. My view of the world has been shaken, but it has not died. I am ready to learn, to love, and to build with all of you.

And for those of you who did vote for our new president-elect precisely for the reasons that so many of us are fearful of, and are now rejoicing in your privilege, I hope you are ready. The storms of love and equality have not been quelled and will continue to grow more and more each day, and you stand absolutely no chance against them. When you push hate in our face, we will continue to push back with a force infinitely more powerful.