I know what you are thinking, and no, this is not a long dissertation about how I am sticking to my values and morals by waiting until marriage. While this is a respectable viewpoint that many have, it is not the reason for my writing. Taking a solid relationship into the realm of physicality, to me, is the easy decision. Making the decision to actually trust another person with intimate details and quirks about yourself, now that is the hard one.
Although I am not a private person as far as sharing with my friends and acquaintances go, I am not huge on putting into words, on the internet especially, my personal life. Sure, I have no issue sharing my political beliefs and funny photos from my sorority formals or family outings. But that is the point of social media, right? To paint the almost perfect image that actually is not one's life. Well it is time to get real.
I am a newly 20-year-old female, newly sorority girl, who has never been in a relationship. To some, that might seem wild. For those of you thinking that, I am somewhat jealous that you have experienced this seemingly life fulfilling thing that I have not. To those who feel as though they are in the same boat, I remind you that you, clearly, are not alone.
The dating world is hard. Some people set high expectations for what they want out of a partner and relationship, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Others don't put what they want ahead of the fear of being alone and that constant need for intimacy and affection. I know that inner struggle all too well. These days it is so so easy to log onto the new trending dating app and swipe through all the local "single men" in your area. It is even easier to get sucked into their cute profile pics and cheesy bios. I've been there, my best friends have been there, and I am sure, you have been there too.
That is the beauty of the 21st century. That perfect mystery man could be a swipe and message away. The operative word being "could." He could be that guy you made out with in the fraternity basement. He could be the guy who told you that you looked "smoking" in that low cut tank top. But... do you want him to be? I get sucked into the thought process that if I did go on "Bumble" or "Tinder," I probably would find someone who was interested in dating me, but would I want to date them? This is the question I find myself constantly asking myself.
In this day and age, it is way too easy to find out who is interested in you, but it becomes increasingly difficult to discover who you actually like. I don't want to date some guy from my history class who low-key winks every time we make eye contact or the guy who checked my a$$ out at a mixer. I want that mind boggling, undeniable chemistry that Nicholas Sparks writes about. I want that connection that people rave about. I don't want the meaningless intimacy, if that is even a real thing, because that is not what I am destined for.
I am willing to wait. In fact, I am 100% OK with waiting. So the next time that my family member, or even old friend, asks why I'm "not 'seeing' anyone," I will gladly tell them, "it's because I am waiting for the right one." There is absolutely no point in kissing a lot of frogs when I wouldn't even want to see the prince that is underneath.