Atelophobia: the fear of not doing something right; the fear of imperfection; the fear of not being good enough.
I worry that if I raise my hand in class, my answer will be wrong. I usually don't raise my hand at all.
I worry that if I sign up to do something, I'll somehow mess it up. I usually stick to what I know.
I worry that if I let someone take me out, they'll realize they can find someone way better. Relationships are all about letting your walls down for someone else. I'm afraid that once my walls fall, all the other person will see is flaw after flaw after flaw. I guess this is where my lack of commitment skills comes in.
I worry about not being tall enough, thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough; the list goes on.
All I want is to be someone's first choice.
But what I've learned is just because I may not be good enough for someone in my class or at the bar or anywhere else I encounter people, I can be good enough for myself.
Even the prettiest girl in the world doesn't think she's pretty enough. Even the top-paid comedians don't think they're funny all the time. We all have insecurities. We all have imperfections. We are all constantly being judged by society's standards. That's what makes us human beings.
No, I'm not tall enough to reach the top shelf, but I get a little adventure of trying not to die by standing on my kitchen chair and/or counter every time I need to get something.
No, I don't look like an editorial model, but how boring would that be if we all looked the same? She has her version of beauty and I have mine. One is not better than the other.
No, I'm don't know everything, but what's the point of life if you can't continue to learn and grow?
Yes, puns and sarcasm are my way through life and if you don't laugh at my jokes, don't worry because I will.
Just because I'm not good enough for you doesn't mean that I can't be good enough for me.
I've accomplished things. I've pushed myself outside my comfort zone. Who I was five years ago can't hold a candle to who I am now.
If someone every says you're not good enough, then you don't need that person in your life. We need the darkness to see the stars, but we need the light to guide the way. Everyone has failed at something, whether it was losing a soccer game or ending a relationship. We need criticism, but we need positive feedback, too. I may not be the best, but I can be my best.
And my best is good enough.
"Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough."
-Little Mix, "Good Enough"
