The past year and a half has been the most confusing time of my life because I don't know how to be or think because I don't know exactly where my place is in the categories aligned by society. I am an adult and have a job and a bank account, but my parents still pay most of my bills. I just don't know how to exist correctly.
I want to preface this statement by saying that I love my parents and will be eternally grateful for everything they have ever done for me and whatever they will do for me in the future and if you don't believe me read my article, "My Parents Are My Heroes Even Though They Aren't Perfect."
I think that this uncertainty may be the result of being coddled a little much due to my illness causing me to need assistance almost every day from ages three to seventeen.
I legally became an adult in July of 2017, but I still don't really feel like an adult. The only time I remember that I'm an adult is when they ask for identification when I go buy cough syrup. Like, "Ooh, I'm going to buy all the gummy worms in the store but, wait, I can also buy this drug that teenagers sometimes use to get high."
Then there is the issue that every time I go home I don't know how to act. I am back in the environment where I was disciplined into asking for permission anytime I needed to leave the house, but I am the age that society tells me that I can do what I want. Going from having the ability to be out of the safety of your home until the early hours of the morning, then that being ripped away and having to revert back to being in high school and needing the head of the household's blessing to walk the dog after 3 p.m. it's just mind-blowing.
I talk to my friends about this a lot and they all share the same feeling. This stage of life is basically the purgatory of adulthood and it's hard not to fear if you are going to be stuck here forever. It's one of the worst feelings. It took forever to get used to being on your own and being an independent person, and then the school year has ended and it's all ripped away and all of a sudden, you're practically in high school again which makes the entire situation a million times more terrifying because, well, high school (insert shudder.)
My guess is that before you go home for the summer, sit down with your parents and lay out your concerns and allow them to do the same. This situation usually does best in a hostile-free environment. Act like the adult you want them to see you as otherwise, this was all for naught. Then, together come up with some reasonable enforcement that you all feel comfortable with. But, don't forget that is an adjustment for your parents, too. Don't go off on and throw a tantrum the first time they try to stop you from doing something that the mutual rules allow you to do. Stop and remind the parent of this to make sure they understand that this is for the best and continue on your merry way.Disclaimer: I am not your parent(s), so I don't know that this tactic will absolutely work, but my family and I have used some of these tactics at our house.