We enter this world; together, not alone. With an established family base; chosen people. While sometime they stay by your side, or sometimes they choose to leave, there is a purpose. That everybody has a purpose.

I said goodbye to my grandmother on Sunday. And everything was beautiful, beautifully sweet. I sat there in this beautiful church, listening to delicate church hymns that make my heart swell. And although everything was foggy, I could feel the sense of comfort by this group of people chosen to be together, to be connected. Hearts all reached out in grief and in love. And in love we celebrated and mourned and lived.

When someone you love passes, they live in your heart, and you carry their memory. But even in life before the final goodbye they live within your heart still, never truly leaving this resting place. The main difference is that your memories with them cease to grow. What a thought though..that every person you interact and meet lives within the walls of your heart, with those we hold closest dwelling in the larger rooms.

And isn’t it funny how we say goodbye in the strangest of ways. How we keep a shell of a human temporarily to morn although the spirit is gone. And although this person is there, they are even sometimes lonely in a room filled with people huddled in masses. None of this makes sense to me. But then again, no one truly does like funerals.

Just as we enter this world, sometimes in a hospital, sometimes not; surrounded by others, given life by another, we go just the same (hopefully). And what a strange but comforting thought, that throughout life no matter what path you choose or what decisions you make you are surrounded in the beginning and end by familiar faces.

I just can’t wrap my head around this thought; the togetherness. That my small family of 5 which can also be considered a family of 30, 100 and so on as the extensions grow; is all on purpose. That every fight, every laugh shared, every smile and every little moment we interact or share is a connection planned.

How in a sense we were meant to be in each others lives. Mom, Dad, you did not choose me specifically. But you kept me, you raised me. You gave me a home, sisters, brothers. And how life altering this path was for you. The years that separate me from you, and from another are significant. And can affect our relationship with each other, and with others.

I simply cannot fathom the webbing of the universe. From the galaxies made of planets and stars. Within each planet and the ecosystem, with each species and social order within each of those. And here we are. You, me, them, we. Even apart physically and mentally we are together, and how interesting is it that. These connections, and their purpose that we are not yet certain. They say that friends are the family you get to choose.

So why can we not choose our family. Has anyone thought about this reason? Our families were already chosen for our benefit, for our path. So that hopefully through the testing and growing parts of life we can feel comfort and receive strength in familiarity.