Here's Why Your "Almost Relationship" Hurts The Most

Here's Why Your "Almost Relationship" Hurts The Most

Even though you were never together, it sure felt like it was heading in that direction.
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Why do we spend so many sleepless nights thinking about that one person who does not even spend a second thinking about us?

Go to sleep, girl. He is not thinking about you.

And damn does that hurt. We wish we could say that all of the conversations we had amounted to something when in reality, the other person was just bored and did not really pour their heart out as much as you did.

Maybe they did care about you, for a moment. Just that fleeting moment. And then they were gone.

You set your sights on this one person only to find out that they were talking to someone else the same time they were talking to you. You thought what you had with them could turn into something more, but it never did.

You think about what you did wrong and the truth is...absolutely nothing. You are annoyed at yourself for taking it so seriously and for not having other options. When you set your sights so high on someone, it’s like you always get disappointed.

The hardest part is explaining this to your friends because you guys weren’t actually in a “relationship,” so why should you be so upset? Well, you did discuss your hopes and dreams with this person and maybe you did some relationship-like things together, so of course you are going to be upset.

Maybe you’re just a dreamer, and you believed that despite the circumstances, you and this person would eventually end up together.

This person just wasn’t ready to love you. It might be aggravating and frustrating, but I’ll tell you one thing it’s not: it’s not worth your trouble. Let yourself be upset for a moment because your feelings are valid, and if someone tells you otherwise, tell them to go buy a fucking journal.

I am the queen of preaching, “Have standards, but don’t have expectations.” Oh, it’s so hard. The best thing you can do is keep yourself busy because it’ll give you less time to think about this. It’s not worth your energy, I’m telling you.

The problem is that we give so much to these guys. We feed their stupid egos and here we are craving that attention only to be disappointed. Never seek validation from another person, it should come from within yourself.

A relationship is a want, not a need. And they are supposed to come at the most unexpected times in our lives, which is what we thought was going to happen with this one, but clearly, that was not the case.

About two months ago, I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop alone furiously trying to study for my last international marketing test. I blocked everything out and was completely “in the zone.” Needless to say, I was astonished when a complete stranger walked up to me, put his hand down on the table to get my attention and said, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you look amazing and I hope you have a great day.”

I almost spit my coffee on him. I was wearing an outfit I had found crumpled up in the corner of my room and had put on absolutely no makeup that morning. The definition of a complete mess. I couldn’t remember the last time a stranger had given me such a genuine compliment. I thanked him and wished him a great day, too.

My point here: Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are special. So special that it’s taking the Universe a really long damn time to find someone who is on the same frequency as us.

Don’t ever feel like the time you spent getting to know this person was wasted because you may have given them a little boost like that guy in the coffee shop did for me. You left a little part of yourself with this person, even if you feel like they aren’t worthy of it right now.

Don’t force anything, as much as I hate to say it, it will come. It’s either a lesson or it’s love. How you react to it is entirely up to you.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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Stop Making Instagram Your Only Outlet For Social Activism

Instagram is a great place to spread awareness, but stop confusing your desire for clout with your desire to save the world.

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Instagram is, without a doubt, one of my guiltiest pleasures. I often find myself spending way too much time on social media, caught up in the world of likes, filters, and hashtags. On the daily, I scroll through hundreds of selfies, beach pictures, happy birthday posts, and the occasional dog pictures. I am all for posting whatever you want on your Instagram account and personally hate the so-called "rules" that govern how we use social media.

Just as the use of Instagram and other forms of social media keeps growing, so has our generation's awareness of social issues. Everywhere I go, I get reminded of the issues our world is facing. Whether it be plastic, global warming, poverty, animal rights, etc., it is clear that our generation wants to see a change. Even though this is amazing, recently I've noticed that so many people my age are confusing the true desire to spread social awareness with the desire to make their Instagram account look better.

A few months ago on Earth Day, my Instagram feed was flooded with pictures of nature. Almost all of these pictures were of girls at the beach, or hiking with their friends, or even taken from the window of an airplane. While the idea of posting about how much you love the Earth and want to save it is a harmless idea, it does nothing to actually save the planet.

I fully support posting a picture of yourself at the beach, and showing off your confidence, but don't post it on Earth Day, pretending it's the ocean behind you that you care about. If you really want to save the Earth and make a difference, posting a yearly Earth Day picture of yourself is not the way to do it. Wanting likes and clout on social media is a part of how today's generation values themselves and each other, but thinking that this is actually promoting any form of social justice is plain wrong.

More recently, videos of baby calves being taken away from their mothers (highlighting the truth behind the dairy industry) have been flooding my social media feed. These videos are heartbreaking, and I am sure that the people posting them truly think they are horrific as well. Posting this type of content is a great way to spread initial awareness, but don't let it be your only outlet for promoting justice for the things you care about.

Social media keeps our world extremely interconnected, and without it, awareness of many of the problems our world is facing wouldn't reach nearly as far as it does. I'm not saying that using Instagram to spread awareness is a bad idea, I'm just saying that it shouldn't be your only outlet for doing so.

If you hate how much plastic our world consumes, go around to local stores and restaurants and ask them to cut their use of plastic. If you hate how the dairy industry treats cows, become a vegan. Promoting awareness while not actually doing anything to change the issues at hand is useless. Our generation is so strong and powerful, and we all need to stop hiding behind our desire for Instagram likes and start actually changing the things we care about.

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