Why do we spend so many sleepless nights thinking about that one person who does not even spend a second thinking about us?
Go to sleep, girl. He is not thinking about you.
And damn does that hurt. We wish we could say that all of the conversations we had amounted to something when in reality, the other person was just bored and did not really pour their heart out as much as you did.
Maybe they did care about you, for a moment. Just that fleeting moment. And then they were gone.
You set your sights on this one person only to find out that they were talking to someone else the same time they were talking to you. You thought what you had with them could turn into something more, but it never did.
You think about what you did wrong and the truth is...absolutely nothing. You are annoyed at yourself for taking it so seriously and for not having other options. When you set your sights so high on someone, it’s like you always get disappointed.
The hardest part is explaining this to your friends because you guys weren’t actually in a “relationship,” so why should you be so upset? Well, you did discuss your hopes and dreams with this person and maybe you did some relationship-like things together, so of course you are going to be upset.
Maybe you’re just a dreamer, and you believed that despite the circumstances, you and this person would eventually end up together.
This person just wasn’t ready to love you. It might be aggravating and frustrating, but I’ll tell you one thing it’s not: it’s not worth your trouble. Let yourself be upset for a moment because your feelings are valid, and if someone tells you otherwise, tell them to go buy a fucking journal.
I am the queen of preaching, “Have standards, but don’t have expectations.” Oh, it’s so hard. The best thing you can do is keep yourself busy because it’ll give you less time to think about this. It’s not worth your energy, I’m telling you.
The problem is that we give so much to these guys. We feed their stupid egos and here we are craving that attention only to be disappointed. Never seek validation from another person, it should come from within yourself.
A relationship is a want, not a need. And they are supposed to come at the most unexpected times in our lives, which is what we thought was going to happen with this one, but clearly, that was not the case.
About two months ago, I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop alone furiously trying to study for my last international marketing test. I blocked everything out and was completely “in the zone.” Needless to say, I was astonished when a complete stranger walked up to me, put his hand down on the table to get my attention and said, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you look amazing and I hope you have a great day.”
I almost spit my coffee on him. I was wearing an outfit I had found crumpled up in the corner of my room and had put on absolutely no makeup that morning. The definition of a complete mess. I couldn’t remember the last time a stranger had given me such a genuine compliment. I thanked him and wished him a great day, too.
My point here: Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are special. So special that it’s taking the Universe a really long damn time to find someone who is on the same frequency as us.
Don’t ever feel like the time you spent getting to know this person was wasted because you may have given them a little boost like that guy in the coffee shop did for me. You left a little part of yourself with this person, even if you feel like they aren’t worthy of it right now.
Don’t force anything, as much as I hate to say it, it will come. It’s either a lesson or it’s love. How you react to it is entirely up to you.