Allowing Heartbreak Twice

are you brave Enough To Put Your Heart On The Line Even If It Has Been Broken Before?

Can you love harder than the world loved you?


My grandfather is not a good dad.

He was a truck driver, which meant he spent a lot of time away from home. Yet on those far and few occasions he'd be coming home, he'd call my Nana and tell her "Get the girls ready! I'm taking you all out to Seafood Shanty!"

So, my Nana would get my elementary-aged mom and aunt dressed in their nicest outfits, get them all excited about Dad's coming home and how good dinner's going to be, and then the three of them would sit in the living and wait on his arrival.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait to the point that it was now too late in the night and my Nana needed to get the girls ready to go to bed.

This didn't happen only once. Multiple times, my grandfather stood up his family for what was supposed to be only one drink at his favorite bar.

That's the kind of parent he is. He's just not nice, sometimes.

But even still, when his health dropped this week and he had to be hospitalized, my mom was caring to him the way he never was to her.

She didn't quit on him.

Recently, I've been struggling with the idea of how our society is so for "cutting people off.” We are in the age of making this our "selfish year" and being "one and done" on chances for people.

But is that a good mentality to have?

Understandably, the idea of "not giving anyone a chance to hurt you twice" seems to do just as it's meant to do- protect your heart, but how much protection is too much?

See, I'm in the business of hurting. It's not a good one, but it keeps my life sizzling. What I mean is, I will constantly believe in the good in people, no matter how many times they hurt me. I will root for them until they're blue in the face telling me "stop caring", and even still I won't. I just don't do endings. It's not my heart's nature to end at all. So, I hurt.

Even with my lifestyle of self-induced heartache, I still believe caring exponentially is better than keeping your heart safe in a bomb shelter. I'd rather get burned and feel the vitality that pulses from the blister than never know the joys of heart and warmth and fire at all.

It seems like this mantra of ends was born out of pain and the fear of more potential pain, so yes, living your life like this will save your heart from some possible hurting later, but it also will strip your life of all the potential shine that this person you are now, cutting off once brought to it. Zooming out, if we all indulge in our own selfishness than we lose a sort of sympathy for humanity as a whole.

I believe the universe puts people in our lives to teach us specific lessons, and also for us to teach those people their own. I believe the universe does this as to make all of us exactly who we need to become in our own respective paths in life. Now, I'm just saying, if life is just many infinities of coincidences that led Harry to meet Sally, then why don't we play nice with those the universe fit in around us?

Life is so much lighter without the ghosts of heartaches, hurts, and other horrible happenstances cluttering our histories.

My challenge for you, noble reader, is to go resolve an old haunt. Swallow that pride, chase it with some confidence, and go remedy someone's heart you hurt or remedy your own with your contacting this certain "them". Get your closure.

Think about it, what are you going to regret more, the attempting to or the wondering of what could've been if you tried?

Don't think it won't be hard. Uh boy, it's gonna be hard, and it's gonna be hard because we never know the outcome of putting in that effort to remedy- are we stretching our hurt a little further for a breakthrough or towards a dead end? We just don't know, but as I always preach, the best parts of living are the ones that make us work for them.

I promise you, the honey is sweeter than the beekeeping, and you will be thankful for the closure in the long run.

However, take this with a grain of salt. Sit there and really brew on that fine line of what relationships are worthy of fighting for and what is simply draining on your heart.

Natural endings are caused by the universe realizing the lessons you two learned from each other are complete and you both must now move on to your next lesson-bringers. But these self-induced endings that you inflicted- these are the ones I challenge you to dig up and bring to the sun. Remedy those that are worth your time and nothing more.

My mother's relationship with her father reminds me that people are inherently worthy of love, and we were made to be resilient enough to love back the way we were not loved.

I challenge all of you to act as my mother acted. Love harder than the world loved you. Can you do it?

Are you brave enough to put your heart on the line, once more?

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40 Small Things That Make College Students Happy

It doesn't take much...

1. When class is canceled.

2. When the coffee shop you stop at five minutes before your 8 a.m. has a short line.

3. Coffee, coffee, coffee.

4. Open note tests.

5. Or even better, take home tests.

6. The unofficial assigned seating process that that takes place after the first week or so of classes.

7. Thursday nights. (because in college, Thursday qualifies as the weekend.)

8. Sales.

9. Or once again, even better, free things.

10. Specifically free food.

11. Dogs.

12. Dogs on campus.

13. Tailgates and Saturday afternoon football games.

14. Finding an already completed Quizlet for your exam.

15. Having an extra 30 minutes for a nap, and if you're lucky, an hour.

16. Netflix.

17. When your roommate takes out the trash.

18. Weekends after test weeks.

19. The rare blessing of a curve on an exam.

20. Getting out of class early.

21. How in college, it is socially expectable to wear a t-shirt everyday.

22. Being able to walk from class to class or eat in the dining hall without having to see anyone you know. (and thank goodness too because you probably don't look too good.)

23. Crossing things off of your to-do list.

24. Your best-friends that you make in college.

25. A full tank of gas.

26. Seeing a new face everyday.

27. Crawling back into bed after your 8 or 9 a.m. (or after any class that ends with a.m.)

28. Care packages.

29. No cover charges.

30. When adults tell you that it is okay that you have no idea what you want to do with your life yet. (regardless of what parents or your advisor may say.)

31. Pizza.

32. Finding out you weren't the only one who did poorly on the exam.

33. Deciding not to buy the textbook, and never needing it.

34. Finding the perfect gif to express how you're feeling. (Michael Scott just get it.)

35. Weekends at home because...

36. Pets.

37. Mom's home cooked pie and Dad's steak dinners,

38. Spring Break.

39. Road trips.

40. When it finally starts to cool down outside so you can show up to class dry instead of dripping in sweat.

Cover Image Credit: Abigail Wideman

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Everyone Should Experience Working In Fast Food Or Retail

Working in fast food was definitely not sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, but I'm so glad I did it.


I know these jobs aren't glamorous. In fact, most days I looked forward to clocking out before I had even clocked in. I always secretly rolled my eyes when an angry customer droned on and on about how entitled he or she was. Though I can name a lot of bad things that happened on the job, it wasn't all horrible. As I reflect on my time working in fast food, I realize how much having that job really taught me and how grateful I am to have had that experience. I really think everyone should work in fast food or retail at some point, and here's why:

You make some great friends from work. I get it, sometimes your co-workers are royal jerks or flat out creeps. You see your name on the schedule next to theirs and immediately try switching with someone else. I've been there. However, I have worked with some amazing people as well.

Every time I worked with one girl in particular, we laughed for entire shifts. One night, we were singing the national anthem at the top of our lungs without realizing a customer had come in (to our surprise, she applauded our terrible screaming). Another coworker and I turned up the radio on full blast when business was slow and had dance battles. We made the most of our shifts, and I still talk to some of these people today.

You learn how to deal with difficult people. It's the age-old story: the uppity customer thinks twelve dollars for a meal combo is outrageous and Where is your manager?!

My friend and I were once called stupid and a customer said he would never come back to our restaurant to eat ever again. At the moment, we were scared out of our minds because we were both pretty new to the job. As time passed, we became more patient and tolerant and knew what triggered these particular customers. Dealing with these adversities definitely helps in the long run, particularly when it comes to doing group work with people who seem unbearable.

Your people skills increase by a landslide. I had always thought that I was great with people before I had a job. However, when I found myself in situations where I had to talk to strangers, I would grow nervous and stumble across my words from time to time. Working in an environment where communicating with others is a driving force helped me not only with improving my public speaking, but also made me more outgoing. In situations where I once backed into the corner to avoid having to talk to someone, I now take charge and initiate a conversation.

You establish a connection with regular customers. My favorite customer was named Jack. He was the sweetest old man who came in every Wednesday and Friday and bought food for himself and his wife. I quickly memorized his order, which impressed him. We shared pleasantries every time he came in, and my coworkers and I looked forward to seeing him.

Establishing a relationship with people who come in a lot helps immensely when it comes to working. It also provides a sense of accomplishment when you memorize an order. Not to mention, the customers start to like you and typically leave a generous tip!

You have stories to tell for a lifetime! Sometimes bad things happen at work. Once I was holding a hot pan and burned my arm— I still have the burn mark on my arm to prove it. My point is, it sucked at the moment, but now I look back and laugh.

One time I asked my coworker how to make soup and she replied, "Slowly, but beautifully." It was so nonchalant that I cracked up for hours. There was also a time when a customer asked me for outlandish toppings and condiments that we didn't offer. The craziest story, though, was the drug deal that went down in our public restrooms. My coworker and I obviously could not leave our station and follow these people into the bathroom, so we were pretty much defenseless. Nobody got hurt or anything, so it made for a great story.

Working in fast food was definitely not sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, but I'm so glad I did it. It made me more independent and outgoing and gave me memories I'll never forget.

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