The key to happiness in life is to know you have a sense of purpose, self-acceptance and supportive people surrounding you. I am completely self-aware that I can be both introverted and extroverted. It can be hard to explain to those who only know you as the girl cooped up in my room or quiet-mannered that you actually love being around people, singing loudly in the car and going out with my friends. But only when you’re not hungry, tired or in a bad mood.
There are some people who practically walk around with “outgoing” written on their forehead and sometimes it's easy to envy those who seem so sure of themselves all the time. It probably doesn’t make much sense to people what I'm trying to say. I really can’t even explain it myself because half the time I really just want to be alone binge-watching The Office while sometimes I want to be having game night with my friends or going out to the local bars every night of the weekend. This must be confusing to the friends who I politely decline every invitation to go out during the weeks at school when just last weekend I could've been singing loudly at a concert with a stranger next to me.
I’ll act a little goofy on any given day and people have commented on my unusually good mood, but it’s not like I can easily tell them that I was just as happy as I was yesterday when I was in my room watching Netflix and eating Taco Bell alone. The people it has affected the most are my family members and very close friends. Who knows they might even say “you never know what mood you’re going to get with her."
After 21 years I haven’t figured out if it’s the people I’m around or if it’s a mood thing. There are friends who have only seen me out on the town with my face and hair done up and a smile on my face; while some friends have only seen me with Nike shorts, a bun and no makeup hiding away in my small apartment away from others. Being someone who can be introverted and extroverted isn’t easy. Some days I can strike up a conversation with any stranger on the street but the next day I could try everything to avoid talking to my classmates and friends.
According to psychologist Hans Eysenck, who coined the term “ambivert” in 1947, ambiverts offer a good balance between the hypersensitivity of some introverts and the domineering attitude of some extroverts. According to Adam Gant being Ambivert can be beneficial in the workplace. “The ambivert advantage stems from the tendency to be assertive and enthusiastic enough to persuade and close, but at the same time, listening carefully to customers and avoiding the appearance of being overly confident or excited,”
I think in the end being both outgoing and shy can seem bad, but I believe it has helped me get a lot further in life. I believe it has made me a strong journalist, as I can see two sides to every story. I don’t have to be up to everyone’s standards and I definitely don’t have to have everything figured out. I can be what I want when I want. And if you’re anything like me don’t look at being ambivert as negative. Be your true self. Be an extroverted introvert.
