College is said to be the greatest time of your life. But sometimes people fail to mention those first few weeks- or maybe they forget how awkward they were. That feeling of complete and utter loneliness? We’ve all been there. Your whole drive to school you think to yourself how amazing it is going to be to have all this freedom. You imagine all the friends you’ll make and how awesome everyone is going to think you are. You have all the good feels leading up to school. Then you get there and everybody is moving in and it’s chaos. Boxes everywhere, crying parents, meetings, socials, events, and SO MUCH PIZZA. It feels like everyone around you is handling it so well. They also seem like they’ve already made friends, and you are standing in your dorm room, occasionally peeking your head out of the room, wondering how literally everyone else has something to do right now except you.

Then the upperclassmen come and they know everyone and they laugh and they hug and they look so confident in themselves. You feel like you’re standing there with giant red arrows pointing at you with the words “WHAT AM I DOING HERE” across your forehead.

We’ve all been there- and you’re not alone.

Then there are all the socials and the events that are planned so that you can tell 100 different people what your major is that you are probably going to change (and what you are going to do with your life which will probably change as well since you haven’t even done your first load of laundry ever #adulting)

And at the social events all the extroverts are killing it at the friend game. You look at them with awe and think to yourself “if I talk to ten more people my eyeballs are literally going to fall out of my face.”

Let me just stop you right there. What you’re seeing isn’t always what you think. In fact, if the rest of the new students were honest with themselves- most would say that the feels of your first few months of school go something like this:

This is going to be amazing.

This is the worst thing ever.

I feel so lonely.

I miss my home.

I love the freedom- but I miss my home.

I sometimes feel lonely, but I’ve made some friends.

I can’t believe these friends have become like family.

This is amazing.

First semester is this weird place in life where you’re around more people consistently than ever before, but you’ve never felt more lonely than you do right now.

It is this place where you leave the rhythm and structure (or lack of) at home and you have to learn to create rhythm and structure.

It is the feeling of leaving established relationships to a place where everything is new and relationships take work to happen.

It is this place where you love it one minute, then the next minute you panic because you actually paid to live with a stranger.

First semester is also the place where you look up one day and realize that you’re actually doing this thing and college isn’t as rough as it first seemed.

Can I just tell you? We’ve all been there. You’re not alone. You are going to be okay.

Introverts: Do your best to hang out with people as much as you can- and I emphasize “as much as YOU can.” Don’t try to be like your extroverted roommate, your big, or the upperclassmen that has everything together. Do as much as you can- then when you need some time to yourself, don’t feel bad for not going to every event and hangout.

Extroverts: Learn to pace yourselves. Go to the events and talk to the people, but then go to bed and get rest because classes ARE starting and while you want to be the life of every party, you also need to have enough life in your body to do the adult things: eat, shower, sleep, study.

Don’t feel bad for asking to tag along with people- especially this first month. You may feel like it is totally lame and like you should just wait for people to come to you- but do it anyways. Ask to hang out, meet new people, learn who you mesh with and be okay with the fact that you’re not going to mesh with everyone.

The rhythm of classes helps- A LOT. If you’re sitting in your dorm writing down a game plan for how to move out and back home without your roommate noticing- just stop. Wait until classes start and you begin doing what you came to do- you’ll start to notice that life may not be falling apart like you thought it was.

Lastly, remember this season of newness and how you felt as a freshman. All those feels? They are valid and I promise that we’ve all been there. Now be what you really needed those first few weeks to the new students that will come after you.