Disclaimer: This article is not based on anyone in particular. There's been a lot in the news about sexual assault, so I thought I would write an article about it.
He told me I was pretty. I believed him. He told me he would always be there for me. I believed him. He told me that nothing bad would ever happen when I was with him and that I should feel safe with him. I believed him.
That night, it felt like a dream. I kept opening and closing my eyes to make sure it wasn't real. I thought that maybe I was in my REM of sleep and that I was just having a nightmare. I wasn't just having a nightmare, I was living in it. I was laying there in pain. He was standing over me like he owned me. He had a big grin on his face and he was laughing. He thought what he did made him more of a man. He was wrong. He took something from me I never could get back. He took my innocence.
I thought respect was a big factor in a relationship. I thought trust was a big factor in a relationship. I thought consent was a big factor in a relationship.
I avoided him after that. I took different routes to get to work and didn't go to certain places anymore because they brought back memories. I would do anything to avoid him. When I saw him, I would pretend I was on the phone so he wouldn't talk to me. I would do anything.
I thought about what would happen if I reported it. Would they believe me? It's my word against his? What would happen to him? What would his parents think of it? Would they give him a pat on the back? Or would they escort him to the police station themselves? Maybe one day I would report it. Maybe one day.
After a while, I started to think about it a little bit less. But there was not a day that I didn't think about it. It wasn't going to find its way out the back door. It was going to stay with me forever.
All thanks to a monster.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (Open 24-7)