Picture this: you’re out on a pontoon with a beer in one hand and a fishing pole in another. Next to you is a man wearing sport sunglasses, a golf shirt and a baseball cap. Is this man your dad? Or are you picturing one of your fraternity friends?
If you answered “fraternity friends” then you might be just as baffled as the rest of us: the similarities between frat boys and our fathers are strikingly similar, let me prove it to you.
1. Their Clothes
Polo button-downs and khakis, frat boy at a bar or dad on casual Friday? Golf shirt and shorts, frat boy or dad on vacation? Sperry’s and a backwards baseball cap, frat boy or a dad out on the lake with the kiddos? I’ll leave these up to you to decide.
2. Coolers
While they’re extremely practical, nothing screams “honey I’m home!” more than bringing your own twelve pack of chilled mic golden lights to the pregame. Being responsible is cool and all, but your Coleman cooler makes you look at least 20 years older than you really are, and I think I might respect that.
3. Sober Drivers
Dads want their ladies to get everywhere safe. So do frat boys. Coincidence? I think not.
4. New Balance Tennis Shoes
I’m pretty sure any dad in the history of ever has owned a pair of these, and I know a few of my friends own them too. Frat boys need to look stylin’ when they drop the kids off at soccer practice, right?
5. Dad bodies (a.k.a. the beer belly)
If you look like you have a 401k and a job with dental benefits then you probably shouldn’t be just starting your junior year. Very strange that I can turn around in my lecture and actually get my peers confused with a dad.
6. The Music They Listen To
Let me tell you from experience, it is virtually impossible to go an entire tailgate or social and not hear “Livin’ on a Prayer,” “Come On Eileen,” or “Piano Man” at least three times. This kind of music really gets the people going, and there’s no denying that, but it is also what my dad listens to when he’s grillin’ up steaks for Sunday night family dinner.
7. Recreational Activities
Every good frat boy loves an exhilarating game of racquetball, or a couple hours out on the boat fly fishing, or even a trip to the local links to play a quick 18 holes. Double the dad points if they smoke cigars while doing the latter two.
