Imagine this for me: your roommates are split.

You and Sarah are Nutella-lovers, and Christie and Jen are bacon-lovers. Sometimes this causes tension, but generally, you just try to avoid talking about these specific preferences, because you don’t like conflict.

Now, you have grown up being a Nutella-lover. Your parents love Nutella, and since you were little they have encouraged you to really truly believe in Nutella. And you do—you think Nutella’s pretty darn great.

You identify with the entire Nutella-loving community. You follow figureheads of the community on Twitter, you read their articles, and their thoughts and opinions make sense to you…for the most part. There are a couple things you think might be flawed; for example, you aren’t really a fan of the idea of eating Nutella with vegetables. You understand the point—making something that’s good for you more appealing—but you just can’t wrap your head around it. You don’t really think it would work, and you don’t think people would buy into the idea.

You try to talk to Sarah about your hesitance to jump on board with this idea, but it’s no help. Sarah thinks it’s a great idea. “I mean, it’s genius. Everything the Nutella-lovers say, all their ideas, gosh, it’s really just great. I don’t understand how anyone could not be a Nutella-lover,” Sarah says. It’s frustrating to you that Sarah won’t even consider that the Nutella-lovers might be wrong about something. But you know that it’s no use trying to convince her. She’s set in her ways, and there’s no way she’ll change her mind.

Christie and Jen overhear this and grimace. “I really don’t understand how anyone could like Nutella,” Jen says. “I mean, it clearly is detrimental to our health. They think they know what they’re talking about, but they don’t. Bacon-lovers, they have it right. Eating bacon is truly the most beneficial to everyone.”

You decide to do some more research. After all, most of what you’ve learned about Nutella- and bacon-lovers has come from your parents. You go online and find an article about BLTs.

Now you’re in a dilemma. There seems to be some points that the Bacon-lovers make that you really do agree with. I mean, BLTs really are one of the greatest inventions of all time. It’s a wonderful combination of ingredients. However, the majority of the Bacon-lovers ideas don’t feel right to you. Bacon at every meal seems unhealthy, and combining it with donuts just seems wrong.

You’re stuck. You have always identified as a Nutella-lover, and agree with most of their messages. But there are some things that the Bacon-lovers say that you agree with too. What do you do?

Well, then it seems that you are neither a Nutella-lover nor a Bacon-lover. I mean that seems pretty normal, right? Why should you have to choose between two things, when both have benefits and downfalls? You decide that you won’t choose either side, and you’re happy with that.

Unfortunately, no one else is. Sarah feels like you have abandoned her, and Christie and Jen still don’t see you as one of them. “Why can’t I be in the middle?” you ask. “What’s wrong with liking a moderate amount of Nutella, and a moderate amount of bacon? Why do I have to be so extreme? Why do I have to choose only one?”

Well, you and your roommates decide to host a party. On Friday night, all of your friends come over to hang out. Not surprisingly, the subject turns to Nutella and Bacon. Sarah starts talking about how great the Nutella-lovers really are, and Christie and Jen are excitably talking about the achievements of the Bacon-lovers.

You start talking about your views, your moderate-Nutella-moderate-bacon views. No one listens. Everyone is separated, half the room Bacon-lovers and half Nutella-lovers, and no one will join you in the middle. You feel alone. It’s a party at your house and no one will talk to you, because no one is willing to give up their side and try to listen to your views. It’s frustrating and defeating. After a little while of standing alone, you give up. Even though you believe the middle is the best place to be, it doesn’t seem worth it if no one will join you. So reluctantly, you join Sarah. You declare yourself once again a Nutella-lover, and try to forget about the parts you don’t like.

Welcome to the American Political Party System.