Who can forget all of the ridiculously on-point life advice Ned Bigby showered us with during our middle school years? "Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide" was a staple Nickelodeon show of our generation, and there is just no denying that many of his tips still apply in college.
1. Classes: Make sure you always brush your hair and teeth before you go. Also make sure you have all your clothes on.
Think people in your Tuesday/Thursday classes don’t know your Monday/Wednesday life? Trust me, someone has noticed, and no, you cannot wear that shirt again for the third time this week. Check that you aren’t wearing two left shoes, your shirt is not on inside out, you’ve reapplied deodorant, and off you go. Your classmates and professors will thank you.
2. Homework: Due dates are closer than they appear, be sure to do your projects and homework on time!
It goes without saying that in college you can’t wait until the last minute to get your homework done. Ten-page papers don’t write themselves, and no one wants to be that student stuck in the library running purely on coffee at 3:30 a.m. the night before the assignment is due. We’ve all been there.
3. Project partners: The most important choice you make before marriage.
We all know that dreaded moment when the professor announces a group project. You think, “Here we go again,” and start praying that the professor doesn’t assign you to that one kid who sleeps every class. I guess it’s true if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, so moment of silence for all those students currently stuck in this situation right now. Life gets better.
4. Crushes: Sometimes they're way out of your league, but try anyway. It's okay if they say no.
Be bold. Go for it. What do you have to lose?
5. Dances: Don't eat a lot of food (or drink excessively). If you do, then you could vomit or need to go to the bathroom.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
6. Rumors: Just because you hear it from a friend or another student does not make it true!
This one pretty much speaks for itself.
7. Lunch: Get in line early.
You don’t want to be stuck at the end of the pasta line right after the entire football team has entered Dhall. Go a few minutes earlier. Speed walk your way over. Whatever it takes, it’ll be worth your time.
8. Daydreaming: If you're daydreaming look in front of the class, don't stare into space.
No one loves those dreaded 9 a.m. classes. That early in the morning, nothing sounds better than curling up in bed, but be careful how you zone out. Those participation scores will bite you in the butt.
9. Bathrooms: Hold it in until you get home.
I don’t care how badly you have to go, it is just not worth it. Don’t count on toilet paper or soap being available when you’re out. Bathrooms at frat houses are their own special type of hell, and for your own sanity, cross your legs and hold it.
10. Clothing: Dress cool and comfortable and it doesn’t matter what anyone says.
Be you, wear your tutu as often as possible, go big or go home, and above all else, work it.
11. When all else fails, remember to grab some cheese puffs (or Pringles or Jimmy John's or Dominos -- any food really), because they are like a bag full of smiles.
Nothing can make you feel better at the end of the night than some handfuls of the most unhealthy food you can find.
College is tough at times, but there are a few tricks of the trade to help you make it through. Keep an eye out for "Alex’s weekly Declassified UR Survival Guide," a fresh look on ways to survive college.
