Dear 18-Year-Old Audrey, who’s a college freshman,

Mom just left your dorm and you are physically shaking because you know this is it, you are becoming a grown up. This is your first day living on Ball State’s campus and you can barely navigate your way down McKinley Avenue. The world that you have found yourself in feels both new and familiar to you at once. You don’t know your way around, but you feel as though you belong here like it’s meant to be.

Here’s what you don’t know: one day you’ll know this campus inside and out and it’ll be more of a home than home ever was. You’ll even love it so much that you insist on staying in Muncie during your summers and school breaks because you feel at ease here.

Your first semester of college won’t be easy. The following semesters won’t be easy. This isn’t something you don’t know, but I think you’ll be relieved at who you’ll become through these challenges. That young woman is full of purpose, passion, creativity, and bravery, even though at times it seemed as though nothing could get any worse.

Even though you feel scared and all alone as you prepare for syllabus week, I want you to be aware of how strong you are.You’re adjusting to “the real world,” even though most will tell you that you technically aren’t in it yet. You’re also getting over your first heartbreak. I want you to know that being single in college really was your best option. Future you is thankful to have the freedom to decide who she wants to be, without the pressure of trying to keep someone else happy. Love will still find you though, I’m sure of it.

The college years for you will be all about figuring it out. The first semester won’t offer much help in deciding a career because it’s all core classes and you’re just trying to get through it. Your second semester will have you convinced that you were meant to be a secondary teacher, but your sophomore year will have you questioning that. Your junior year is the one where you decided to stick out the English Ed program but is also one where you’re exploring other options such as writing, reporting, and editing. There’s always so much work to be done, but you feel hopeful and fulfilled for once.

I’m not sure what your senior year holds or what life will have in store for you after that, but it’s all going to turn out the way that it’s meant to. Whether or not you become a teacher or a writer or a journalist doesn’t matter, what matters is that you’re living a life you can be proud of.

This is what you’ll learn during college. There is no “right” path; there is only the path that you create for yourself. I want you to know that your path is going to be rocky, but it’ll no doubt be full of beauty and experiences that you will never forget.

I want you to be proud of yourself. You’re giving these four years your absolute best. This is the time to drink copious amounts of iced coffee, explore the world, find your people, become a stronger writer, feel more empathy for others, and read every single book you can get your hands on. This is also the time where you’ll sink back into your mental illness, fighting self doubt every day as you struggle to get out of bed and start your day. The papers you have to write for your classes will get you stressed out to the point of feeling sick. Your heart will break at the loss of friends and family members and those boys who just didn’t like you back. There will be ups and there will be downs, but you’ll continue to get through it because of your resilience.

- 20, almost 21-year-old Audrey, who’s a college junior, almost a college senior.