Dear friend,
It’s been about four years since you’ve been gone. I’m in college now. Your little sister looks so grown up. But four years hasn’t been long enough for us to forget you. No amount of time ever will. I still remember the way you smiled, and the way it sounded when you laughed. I remember the last time I saw you cry, and I remember the last thing I ever said to you.
I’m good. I have good grades, great friends, and my dream job for the summer. I love college. I could honestly stay a freshman forever. I wish you were here to see me now, see how different I am from the last time we spoke. It still hurts me sometimes when something new happens and I know I can’t call you and tell you about it.
We won’t ever find anyone like you. We know that. You really were one of a kind. I will never be able to find the perfect words to describe you, because I could never get every aspect of you down on a piece of paper. I can try, though. You had an infectious laugh that made me smile no matter what kind of sour mood I was in. You always seemed so carefree, in a way that made me wonder why I was so confined by school and other worries. You never let anyone feel like they weren’t loved or that they weren’t enough. I know now that this was probably because you felt that way yourself. You were so beautiful and so confident, especially when you opened your mouth to sing. You were passionate, more than anything.
I wish with every part of me that you were still here. I wish that you had loved yourself the way that everyone had loved you. I wish that nothing had ever happened to you that made you want to leave this world. I wish I could have told you one last time how loved you were. Even though I wish all of these things and many more, I will never stop being thankful for my guardian angel in heaven and the time I got to spend with you on earth.
Stay golden, Jocelyn.
Love,
Your friend
If you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, do not hesitate to call this number: 1 (800) 273-8255. Know that as bad as things seem, they will never stay that way. There are always people who love you more than you will ever know.
