I'm Not An Alcoholic, I'm Just A College Student

I'm Not An Alcoholic, I'm Just A College Student

You'll find no party-girls here.
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When I first began the college process, my family and friends were all very proud of me.

But I noticed that I started getting a lot of the same messages, repeated over and over to me by every over-concerned, only half-joking family member.

“Don’t go to college and become a party girl!”

“Don’t go to college and start drinking!”

“Don’t go to college and party all the time!”

Their intentions were pure, but after a while, it began to wear on me.

I found a text conversation between me and my mom recently, back from when all this was going on. In it, I talked to her about how these comments were somewhat irritating.

Didn’t they know me well enough that I wouldn’t waste my hard-earned education on getting wasted?

Did they not remember that they’re talking to a girl who’d rather watch youtube videos in her pj’s with her best friend than go out on a Friday night?

Don’t they realize that I’m mature?

To me, my irritation stemmed from what I saw as a lack of trust in my own sense of responsibility, something that I greatly pride myself on and have worked hard to develop.

My mom, however, being the voice of reason, put my irritation aside. She reminded me that it was like a ritual to warn new college students of the dangers of partying.

A rite of passage, even.

That got me thinking, after finding those text conversations again, why it is that our culture does that. I know myself, I know my boundaries, and I know what kind of temptations I am more likely to give into — I know that I am not a partier.

So why is it that people nowadays feel compelled to pretend like I am, just because I’m leaving the nest?

Do we not trust our college students?

All of us, especially those of us currently in college, have heard the stories of kids getting wasted and terrible things happening to them. That doesn’t mean college kids will stop drinking. The stories may become a lingering fear in the back of our minds, but the social aspect of it does not change.

College students aren’t going to stop drinking, and that’s just a fact of life. Whether or not they’re responsible for it, though, is another matter.

Parents have every right to be worried about their children when they go off to college.

College is scary and difficult, and at times may even seem impossible.

But parents should also feel comfort in the knowledge that they’ve raised their child to be a responsible adult, and come to terms with the fact that their kid is now, indeed, an adult. There shouldn’t have to be that second-guessing, that worry gnawing at them that their child will be one of the stories colleges love to scare students into submission with.

I know my family means well, and I appreciate their concern for my wellbeing now, but I’d also like to tell families everywhere that a little trust means so much more than you’d think it does.

I’m not a partier, not one prone to being out on a Friday night, nor am I an alcoholic in any sense of the word. I’m just a college student, and there’s no room for us to grow into the best version of ourselves if someone is always stepping in front of the sunlight.

The concern is welcome, and I’ll admit sometimes justified, but still. A little trust might be justified too, don’t you think?

Cover Image Credit: Alexia Darnell

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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