I have come to know William Shakespeare quite intimately over the last two years in college as an English major and poetry lover. It astounds me that this classic poet from the 16th century is able to apply his words to the year of the Millennials so perfectly in ways that he probably never thought of. They carry through the centuries with such grace and potency that they still blow me away. This intellectual and poetical genius has beautiful, flowing, and all encompassing words for innumerable aspects of life; this includes friendships and alcohol peer pressure, especially in college. Yes, Willy Shakes is giving you advice on alcohol peer pressure, stay with me, it will be grand. No matter what your stance is on alcohol, all are welcome here! The quote that I am focusing on in regards to this issue is as follows:

"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.“ -William Shakespeare

As someone who is not a stereotypical college kid who drinks and parties at a normal and expected level (that level being never), I have run into multiple people of varying degrees of friendship and familiarity who have not been totally pleased or completely comfortable in how I have chosen to live my life in this area. This lack of participation on my part is mainly due to the fact that I am not legally able to drink, have never been in a friend group where alcohol is accessible, and I am an avid introvert who avoids large social interactions at all costs. Give me a book and some green tea, please. I have many friends who choose to drink or party and I love them all the same, no matter their choice or lack thereof, because we are at the age where we are able to make our own mature choices and I am friends with these people not for their drinking or partying choices, but the people that they are aside from these choices. I do not question them for their participation in this lifestyle, for I am still open to potential participation, and am not their mother, guardian, or one to judge them, but I do not always receive the same treatment for my own choices. The problem comes in when these people find the need to try and change my opinion on going out or drinking to make me a better, more social version of me.

I have been a part of many conversations, attempted conversions, and forced interventions in hopes of changing the core of my character and the life that I have chosen by those that I know well, and those that I know not as well, in regards to my participation in drinking and partying. Those who have chosen to drink and go out seem take a personal offense to my choice of not participating in this lifestyle and my unwavering acceptance of them as a person regardless of our differences. This appears to absolutely blow their minds and it ignites a responsibility fire in their souls to make me their next fix it project. The close friends who attempt to do this puzzle me the most, for I thought they knew where I stood on these issues, accepted me for who I was, and was my friend for the person that I am and have always been, not my alcoholic or social choices and tendencies. I am not on the market for self help and you never know a persons reasons for being how and who they are, so it is best to love them at face value, not at their level of potential to change to better fit the world.

These interactions are hurtful and confusing, for I do not need the two factors of alcohol and partying in my life to feel complete, cool, or to feel as if I am truly living the life of a college student, but others seem to think that I have not reached my full potential. I am sure that many college students face this very same issue of differing lifestyles from friends they have had for years, or more recent acquaintances. These friends do not offer the friendship that Shakespeare describes. It is not one of knowing, understanding, accepting, and support as you grow. It is a friendship that molds, changes, misunderstands, and rejects the choices you have made and may have had for years. Shakespeare knew the struggles of friendships, no matter what the topic of difference may be, and the type of friends that we need to seek in order to stay true to ourselves and the lives that we have chosen.

I and anyone else should not have to fight to stay who I am in a frienship, but rather be encouraged to stay that very person because the person that I am is the only person that I should ever be, and that I should grow at my own pace, not at the pace of others or of society. This also goes for everyone who who is struggling in friendships where they no longer fit in as well as they used to. You have to know when to stand up for yourself, to nod and smile, and when to walk away from people who refuse to accept you for who you are. Toxic and pressuring friendships were around in Shakespeare’s time and still are today. Choose wisely and never waver from the person that you are, want to be, and cherish so dearly. To be or not to be, that is the question.