Here it goes again. You caught the bus from where you parked, checked your bag, been excessively probed at security and finally made it to your gate. Feeling violated from TSA's recent slide into second base, you sit in the only open seat and there it happens -- the airport clichés have you surrounded. Although the individuals may be different, their offenses are always the same.
1. The Overdressed
These are the women with their sky-high stilettos and leather pants -- we all know your legs are begging for air and there is no way you're comfortable. It is always best to put your best foot forward but does it really need to be screaming in pain from carrying a 40 pound bag and stumbling through security?
2. The Underdressed
Just opposite of the Overdressed sits the Underdressed in his spaghetti stained sweatpants or her literal pajama bottoms and Uggs. Traveling is easiest when done comfortably but really? There is a hole in your right cheek and I can see your tighty-whities, no thanks!
3. Rule Disregarders
Identifiable by their heated conversations with the airport staff and TSA, these are the people who believe that air travel regulations do not apply to them. They are most often heard from across the terminal shouting something to the effect of "yes, my minivan sized duffle bag will absolutely fit under my seat" or "what do you mean my 8'x3' suitcase doesn't count as a small personal item?"
4. Hoggers
Oh, the Hoggers of Plugs, Seats and General Space. They plug all of their devices in to every plug at the charging station and if they can't fill them all up, they'll just sit awkwardly in front of the empty ones. They strew their bags across every seat (most likely the handicapped ones) while waiting for the plane to board and they won't move for anything or anyone. They are also the people who lean their seats all the way back and restrict your seat space to that of a mouse's.
5. The Numb
Did I just clip that man's ankles with my suitcase? Better pretend like I didn't notice because apologizing will likely kill me. This is the thought process of the Numb. They don't have to acknowledge you or the injury they caused if they act like they couldn't feel it in the first place. They are the hit-and-runners of the airport and they make it like the Hunger Games to get out unscathed.
6. The Intrusive
You might as well strip down to your underwear because by the end of your flight, you're going to feel like you were just given a full-body physical. They will drag out everything there is to know about you, from your field of study to why you have daddy issues. Then they will give you their hour long synopsis on their own lives. The worst part about these people? They are always in the seat next to you. Why, God, why? Do your vocal chords hurt yet?!
