Airplanes Are The Worst

Here's the thing about overcoming your fear of airplanes...

You can't. And you won't.

Airplanes provide the possibility for endless adventures to places you would never even know existed years ago. It ALSO provides an opportunity to make unlimited amount of movies about airplane crashes that result in either death or being stranded on an island with only a volleyball named Wilson to keep you company for the rest of your life (Castaway movie reference).

I'm not sure when my fear of airplanes began, but these movies sure don't help the cause.

I can't decide if it's the concept of flying through the air miles and miles high that scares me the most, or if it's being in a small space with a select few people (not of my choosing) for many hours.

What if there are crying babies? (Happened)

What if there are barking Chiwawas? (Happened)

What if I'm stuck in the middle seat with two extremely large men who ask me for my airline snacks? (HAPPENED)

There's far too many risks you have to take when it comes to planes. The only thing is, I don't want to be stuck in one place my whole life and not be able to see what the world has to offer. But I also absolutely cannot sit in a car for over 20 hours just to see a palm tree. Planes are really the only way to do it, and learning to accept it is what I have done.

Even accepting the fact that I will continue to fly on planes despite my fear, I still go through the same process every single time I take a plane:

-Wake up to go to the airport.

-Eat not one single thing because i'm so nervous.

-Arrive at airport and see everyone in the security line.

-Calm down slightly because millions of people fly planes everyday and come out alive, so I must be okay too right?

-Freak out again after arriving at my terminal because I have just spotted three separate mothers that are getting on my plane with kids that are screaming for reasons God doesn't even know. (You're probably going to Disney so why are you crying?)

-Calm down because the plane doesn't board for another hour so at least I have a little more time to be on the ground.

-Freak out again because we're now boarding and I don't have a guaranteed seat with mom. And everyone stares at you when you're searching for a seat.

-Calm down because I got the seat with mom.

-Freak out because they're going through safety procedures and I've realized that I might ACTUALLY need the life jacket under the seat to float in the middle of the cold ocean if we go down.

At this point, there is no more calming down:

-Freak out because we're about to take off (what if we don't make it into the air before the runway ends???)

-Freak out because now we're in the air and there's turbulence

-Freak out because the seatbelt light keeps dinging and it always sounds like there's an emergency

-Freak out because I just looked out the window and were going through a huge cloud (HOW does the pilot see where we're going??)

-Freak out because we just got stuck in an air pocket and dropped what felt like 5,000 feet in half a second

-Freak out because we're finally landing and my ears are popping so much that I think they are going to fall off

-Freak out because the wheels are coming out of the plane for landing but it sounds like the plane is falling apart

-And when we finally land, you'd think everything would be okay. But then it takes the rest of the day to get off the plane because everyone moves at turtle speed. I start sweating because suddenly the plane is 1,000 degrees, I get claustrophobic, so I STILL freak out.

The whole flying experience for me is just overall awful. My heart is constantly beating out of my chest, and I'm constantly on the lookout for things that could go wrong. Spring break is approaching, and I have planned a trip that requires me to take a plane.

SO PLEASE. Wish. Me. Luck.


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