To The Girl Who's Afraid To Break His Heart, Do It Now

To The Girl Who's Afraid To Break His Heart, Do It Now

Here's why you should never put off a breakup.

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I nearly broke my boyfriend's heart… literally. I could've spared him that pain if I had only been honest with myself.

When I met him, I was coming off of a nasty breakup with a boy I was completely infatuated with. This boy was always on my mind, and just the thought of him gave me inexorable butterflies. But that ended as passionately as it had started. It wasn't pretty.

I met John — we'll call him John for the sake of his identity — a few months after that. He was everything my ex wasn't. He was romantic, attentive and he made me feel safe. After being with someone so reckless, it felt good to be at ease in a relationship. He didn't make me feel passionate and fiery, but he did make me feel comfortable and content. We had different values and goals, but I put that aside because he was such a kind person and wow, he really loved me. That's all I wanted — for someone to care about me. I told myself that, despite our differences, it was enough. But I knew it wasn't.

Why did I lie to myself for so long?

I wanted to believe it would work, but something nagged at me our entire relationship. A little voice in my head whispered, "John isn't right for you." But I pushed that whisper down further and further until it finally built up into a roar that refused to be ignored. Well, many months had gone by at this point and I knew I would be destroying the purest, kindest soul I have ever met.

I have never been in more pain than the day I told him I couldn't do it anymore. When rehearsing my breakup, I thought how bad can it be? It was worse than I ever could have imagined.

The stress triggered his heart complications. He passed out on the ground. I had to call the police. An ambulance came. I had to call his mom and tell her what happened.

He was OK minutes later, but those were the scariest moments of my life.

I tell this horrifying story so that you can learn from my mistakes. The longer you wait, the worse it'll be. If you know it's not right, there's no point in dragging it on any longer. Take it from me, it only worsens the pain.

It's OK to be scared of that breakup. Breakups are terrifying. But if something is telling you to do it, it's probably for a good reason. You may think you're sparing the other person by waiting, but you're actually doing the opposite.

They deserve someone who's all in, and you deserve to be with someone you're all in with.

Nobody wants to feel heartache or inflict pain on another person, but it's better than letting the fear of temporary hurt lead you into permanent unhappiness.

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To My Boyfriend's Mom

He loves you more than you could ever imagine...
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Without you, there would not be a him, so first things first, thank you.

1. Thank you for teaching him to love a woman the right way, to put God first, and YOU before me always, the respect he shows you is so attractive, and you deserve it.

He talks about you like you hung the moon, I don't doubt for a second that he will be an amazing father one day, I owe all of that to you.

2. Thank you for giving me a chance, learning to love me when you knew your son was doing the same.

I can't speak for my own first impressions, but hopefully mine was not THAT bad...when we both slapped him on the arms for his rude remark at the same time, I knew our relationship was already blossoming.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

3. Thank you for every meal you have ever purchased me.

And chocolate, and candy...you know just as well as your son does that food is the way to my heart. Especially Taco Bell and cheesecake ;)

4. Thank you for your advice, suggestions, and opinions...and asking for mine

Whether it's telling me to slap him for being a smart a$$, or you're asking me about color swabs for your kitchen makeover, you come to me as if I am your own, and I am so honored to give you my own input.

5. Thank you for including me

You never fail to leave a spot for me, and I love family dinners/outings with you guys just as much as I love my own!

6. Thank you for teaching your son to never give up, and that if he does it is only to better himself, or it's the only choice he has left.

He is so focused on his future, he wants the best for himself, and he is constantly reminding me that these are things that YOU taught him, you deserve to be so proud.

7. Thank you for letting him love my family, and allowing me to love yours.

He is so loyal and loving to my family, and I don't even have to ask myself why because I see him with you and yours. Thank you for letting us double up on holidays when we can, and making sure we get the most out of our time with you!

8. Thank you for being his best friend.

I think of him as mine too, but I couldn't think of a better person to also hold that title, you know him better than anyone else and you always will.

9. Thank you for teaching him how to treat a woman

He is constantly telling me "You sound like my mother." Thankfully earlier in our relationship, he told me that the woman he wants to be with, should do just that. He always tells people who try, "No, no one calls me by my full name except my mom and my girlfriend."

10. Thank you for your honesty

We all know that he and I can drive you crazy sometimes, thank you for telling us like it is, and making sure we know you still love us anyways.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

11. Thank you for teaching him to work as hard as possible in anything and everything he does.

I have never met anyone with such a desire for success, he and I are constantly discussing how we can better our futures, and I know exactly where his drive comes from.

12. Thank you for teaching him to clean up after himself

Even though sometimes, it takes him a minute to do so.

13. Thank you for teaching him how to love, and letting him love me.

I have never felt so loved by a man, probably because anyone else who came into my life was just a boy. Thank you for your unconditional love for him, he is your entire heart and that is so easy to see, I am happy to share his with you.

You and I both know that even years from now we will both occasionally probably be closing the fridge that he left open, cleaning the crumbs he dropped, demanding he take a shower after playing soccer, or reminding him 20 times about plans we made weeks ago, we both share such a great love for such an amazing man. I could never be more thankful that you brought forth into this world such a comforting, supportive, protective, steadfast, driven, handsome, and hilarious guy. Thank you for everything you do for him, for me, and for us, I love you a lot!

Cover Image Credit: casey

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How I'm Dealing With A Breakup, Told By My Playlist

The best sad songs.

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It hasn't been very long since we went our separate ways and this subject is still a very sore one. But somehow, after losing my best friend, I am making it through. These songs are either something that sticks out because the words are something that I feel or just make me cry more(it's called healing people!!) Overall, these tunes are great and worth the listen for anyone.

1. I Fall Apart by Post Malone

The feeling of never being able to recover or come back after a loss like this. This song makes me think about the fact that you have to fall apart to build yourself back up and better than ever. This song meant nothing, in a serious way, until this breakup. These lyrics represent all of the feelings I have had at one point or another through this breakup.

2. Die From A Broken Heart by Maddie and Tae

This song represents how I am making it through these weeks. My mom is my rock through everything especially in a time like this. And my dad is the type to want to make things "right" with the boy who broke my heart. Is my heart really broken? No, but I was stunned at the idea of him leaving me so easily, making this song hit close to home.

3. Preach by John Legend

This song helps to remind me that changes need to be made before much of anything can happen. There is no point in going back to him when I am still the same way and he is too. The deep emotion also portrayed in this song is something that I identified with and felt connected by.

4. 1 Sided Love by Blackbear

This one is pretty literal. It truly was a one-sided love that we had and I hope to find someone in the future who gives me what I give to them. College boys aren't ready for the kind of love that I am looking for and I have decided there's no point in wasting my time when the "right one" is most likely not even ready to meet me yet.

5. Changed My Mind by Tove Stryke

Our love had always been a rollercoaster ride of yes and no. We were never really sure about each other until I was. I gave all that I possibly could once I decided he was what I wanted, but it wasn't enough.

All of these songs are amazing and each spoke a different message that I either related to or found noteworthy. They can be applied to most situations, self-love, breakups and friend breakups. I am thankful for the support system that has also gotten me through this.

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