To The Girl Who's Afraid To Break His Heart, Do It Now

To The Girl Who's Afraid To Break His Heart, Do It Now

Here's why you should never put off a breakup.

1217
views

I nearly broke my boyfriend's heart… literally. I could've spared him that pain if I had only been honest with myself.

When I met him, I was coming off of a nasty breakup with a boy I was completely infatuated with. This boy was always on my mind, and just the thought of him gave me inexorable butterflies. But that ended as passionately as it had started. It wasn't pretty.

I met John — we'll call him John for the sake of his identity — a few months after that. He was everything my ex wasn't. He was romantic, attentive and he made me feel safe. After being with someone so reckless, it felt good to be at ease in a relationship. He didn't make me feel passionate and fiery, but he did make me feel comfortable and content. We had different values and goals, but I put that aside because he was such a kind person and wow, he really loved me. That's all I wanted — for someone to care about me. I told myself that, despite our differences, it was enough. But I knew it wasn't.

Why did I lie to myself for so long?

I wanted to believe it would work, but something nagged at me our entire relationship. A little voice in my head whispered, "John isn't right for you." But I pushed that whisper down further and further until it finally built up into a roar that refused to be ignored. Well, many months had gone by at this point and I knew I would be destroying the purest, kindest soul I have ever met.

I have never been in more pain than the day I told him I couldn't do it anymore. When rehearsing my breakup, I thought how bad can it be? It was worse than I ever could have imagined.

The stress triggered his heart complications. He passed out on the ground. I had to call the police. An ambulance came. I had to call his mom and tell her what happened.

He was OK minutes later, but those were the scariest moments of my life.

I tell this horrifying story so that you can learn from my mistakes. The longer you wait, the worse it'll be. If you know it's not right, there's no point in dragging it on any longer. Take it from me, it only worsens the pain.

It's OK to be scared of that breakup. Breakups are terrifying. But if something is telling you to do it, it's probably for a good reason. You may think you're sparing the other person by waiting, but you're actually doing the opposite.

They deserve someone who's all in, and you deserve to be with someone you're all in with.

Nobody wants to feel heartache or inflict pain on another person, but it's better than letting the fear of temporary hurt lead you into permanent unhappiness.

Popular Right Now

13 Movies Every Couple Needs To Watch Before They Get Married

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories.

4210
views

These 13 movies are the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, and I'm not joking. Each movie will show you something new about your partner, and make you ask each other the hard questions. How many kids do you want and how are you going to raise them? What would happen if you got into a horrible accident? Some are less serious though, like what if you could time travel?

I promise that not every one of these movies is a Nicholas Sparks classic, and I also promise that not every movie has Rachel McAdams in it!

1. "The Time Traveler's Wife"

This movie is both heartbreaking and amazing.

2. "About Time"

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories. It's on Netflix right now, so grab some snacks and turn it on!

3. "Like Crazy"

This infamous Tumblr gif came from "Like Crazy." It's about a couple who goes long distance and build their life together. I used to cry every time I watched it, and I'm no crier! It also has the (now famous) Felicity Jones in it.

4. "The Notebook"

Every girl wants this kind of love.

5. "The Last Song"

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are literally married now so if that isn't good luck, I don't know what is.

6. "Safe Haven"

You guessed it! This is another Nicholas Sparks classic. This movie has a dark twist as well, which men will love.

7. "Inside Out"

You may be thinking that this one is a bit weird. Well, this movie will help both you and your partner understand each other's emotions better.

8. "The Choice"

This movie is great because the female lead is feisty and extremely intelligent, which usually doesn't happen in love stories. How do you keep the love alive with a woman who is hard to get, and even harder to keep entertained?

9. "The Longest Ride"

Originally I could not stand the main female lead (Britt Robertson) but now she is in one of my favorite shows (For The People), so I have no choice. This movie had me on the end of my seat, and as a rom-com it is a must.

10. "The Age Of Adaline"

I began loving the name 'Adaline' thanks to this movie. This unlikely love story and self love journey really gets me.

11. "The Vow"

Imagine falling in love with someone and building a life, but an accident forces you to start all over?

12. "Titanic"

If they don't have any sort of reaction to this movie, they are probably not the one for you.

13. "Yours, Mine, & Ours"

Yours, Mine, & Ours is a true classic. Are you Helen or Frank Beardsley? You should figure that out before you tie the knot!

You're welcome!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

All The Sorries We Should Have Said

Do you struggle saying "I'm sorry"? You're not alone.

106
views

"I'm sorry."

It's two short words that I find incredibly hard to utter sometimes. I think many people struggle to get the words out, especially when they aren't exactly sure what else they want to say. For me, I hate saying I'm sorry if I don't have my thoughts collected if I haven't sifted through all my feelings and prepared a long speech on why I'm so sorry.

It's so much easier to forgive than it is to apologize. Even when I've wanted to apologize, there's something about actually doing it that chokes me up a bit or that makes me feel timid. Maybe it's a pride thing- no one wants to feel small or stupid. Recently I've been thinking about how I like forgiving more than I do apologizing, which is odd considering it's ridiculously hard for me to forget a past transgression, no matter how much I want to. That got me to thinking about how others forgive.

When I've hurt someone, when I've been out of line, and I finally muster up the strength to apologize, do they forgive and forget? Are they like me and try their hardest to push the past into the back of their minds? Did they think it was a half-assed attempt? I think for many of us we can be kind of oblivious to the pain we cause others, even if we don't mean to do any harm. We can be even more oblivious to how people respond to our apologies or lack thereof.

I know I've hurt people; I'm not a perfect person. That's no excuse, it's just the truth- no one is perfect. We've all messed up many times before, we've betrayed people's trust, we've let people down, and the list can go on and on. I often wonder if I've given the proper apologies, though. I wonder if people felt my remorse if they accepted my "I'm sorry?"

To the people I've let down- I'm sorry. I'm sorry for giving you high hopes just to let them crash and burn. I'm sorry I didn't carry my own weight.

To the people I've turned my back on- I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't stick by your side, that I didn't keep my promise to be there for you.

To the people I've been icy with- I'm sorry. I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder, for making a biting remark when I was in a mood, for treating coldly and being distant. You didn't deserve that, not then and not ever.

To the people who forgave me- thank you. I'm sorry I gave you any reason to have to forgive me at all.

Related Content

Facebook Comments