I recently met a guy who quit his job, packed up his car and drove over 2,000 miles by himself. When I asked him if it was hard making the trip alone, he said that it was actually one of the best decisions he’s ever made. He said that by being alone he has learned more about himself than ever before.
His story reminded me of how we often surround ourselves with people in hopes of finding happiness. We hope that our friends or our family will bring us the joy that we cannot bring to ourselves or we rely on others to help us work through our problems when we’re not sure how to get through them alone. While sometimes surrounding yourself with others is the answer, other times, being alone is all you really need.
When you are alone, there is no one to pretend for. There is no mask to put on, no one to please, and no one you need to worry about. You can hear your own thoughts without them being influenced by others. You can decide what makes you happy without worrying what anyone else thinks. You begin to learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible.
Some people are afraid of being alone. For them, it feels weird to laugh or dance or cry without other people being there to do it with them. They need other people to validate how they are feeling or what they are doing before they can be happy. However, what those people don’t realize is that there is power in being alone. There is power in enjoying your own company and not needing anyone else to tell you how you should feel about something. There is power in working through your own thoughts and feelings without needing others to do it with you.
I lived alone my whole first year of college. I didn’t have a roommate to face my first quarter with and I didn’t constantly have someone to figure out my problems with. At first, it was difficult being alone so much. However, at some point I reached a place in my mind where I never really felt alone. I enjoyed being with myself and I didn’t always need others to be happy. I could watch Netflix, have a spa night, and have a little dance party by myself. I could laugh and sing without needing anyone to do it with me. By learning how to be happy alone, I was more myself then I had ever been before.
I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with spending time with others. The best times of my life have been moments that I have shared with other people. However, remember that it’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to watch a sunset or go to a movie or drive 2,000 miles by yourself. Not everything you do has to be shared with someone else. If you can be happy alone, then you will never feel alone.
