Dear not-so-little brother,

I can’t believe that you’re in high school. It’s kind of crazy to think that you’re already a teenager, trying to navigate this crazy thing called high school. It can be kind of scary and stressful— no one knows that better than me. But you have an advantage that I didn’t have: you have someone who went through this already, someone to whom you can look to avoid making the same mistakes. I’d like to offer you some preemptive advice before you have the misfortune to make one of these mistakes yourself. Here are some things I’d like you to know, and some advice which should help you make your way through high school with a lot less difficulty.

1. Make friends with the upperclassmen.

They’ve been through freshman year already; they know what to do and what not to do. They’ve had all the teachers you have (because, let’s face it, I’m not much help since all the teachers I had are gone already) so they can provide very helpful knowledge on how to deal with difficult teachers. Plus, the older students you go to school with now are the ones that will end up driving you home your freshman year of college when you both inevitably wind up at the same school.

2. Don’t procrastinate.

Don’t fall into that horrible trap of, oh, it’s ok, this isn’t due until next week. The deadline may seem far away, but starting on it now will save you lots of stress and sleepless nights in the future.

3. Never sacrifice sleep for homework.

Your health and well-being are so much more important than some silly letter grade. I know it’s tempting to stay up late finishing that assignment so you can impress your teacher, but you won’t even be able to stay awake during that class if you don’t get enough sleep. It also takes much longer to get over a cold when you don’t sleep long enough, so good luck if you ever get sick.

4. Don’t be afraid to take a mental health day.

Yes, a mental health day does count as being sick. If you’re so stressed that you cause yourself to have a panic attack, take a mental health day. Even if you didn’t have a panic attack, but you’re incredibly stressed, stay home from school. Teachers are so understanding, and they want you to be in the best mental state as well. Do what’s best for you, even if that requires you to skip a half-day or a full day of school.

5. Get involved, but not too involved.

Find some activity that you love to do, something that makes a meeting every week or practice every day totally worth it for you. Devote yourself to one or two activities that you really love, but not every activity offered at your school. Trust me, colleges prefer someone who’s very committed to one activity over someone who’s barely committed to 20. You’ll be thanking me for this advice when you’re not staying after school every day and coming in early every morning to go to 15 different club meetings.

6. You will cry, and that’s okay.

At some point in your high school career, someone will probably hurt you. Whether it's a girlfriend or your best friend, someone along the way will make you want to cry. Don’t be afraid of this. Honestly, sometimes crying is the best thing you can do for yourself. I know it makes me feel a whole lot better. It’s okay to cry when you’re stressed too. Just because you’re a boy doesn’t mean you have to be stoic and hold in all your emotions. Let yourself cry sometimes; you’ll feel so much better afterward.

7. Choose your friends wisely.

It is so much better to have a few friends that you love and trust than to have a hundred friends whom you barely know and who barely know you. Find friends that will love and support you unconditionally, through all the stupid decisions and all the smart ones, through the good times and the bad. Find friends that will make you sad to leave when you go away to college in four years, and friends that will come visit you at your new school. But most importantly, give it time. You don’t have to have a friend group right away. Sometimes friendships change - people you’re friends with now may not be your friends in a few years, and you may become friends with people you never imagined you would like. Just make sure that the friends you do end up with are nice people, people that Mom and Dad will love having over all the time.

8. I will always be there for you.

I may not always be physically home, but I am always just a text or a phone call away, and I will help you with anything you might need, at any time. If it’s 3:00 in the morning and you’re stressing about a test, please don’t be afraid to call me, and I will, of course, help you study, regardless of what time it is or how early I have class the next morning. I love you so much, and I would do anything to help you succeed.

9. Enjoy this time.

This is perhaps the most important advice I can give you. High school goes by so fast, and if you’re not paying attention, you might miss some of it. Take lots of pictures, make lots of memories, and live in the present. The future will come, but don’t rush it; enjoy each moment and never look back.

I wish you the very best of luck for this next adventure, and I wish I could be there in person to watch you grow up. I love you and I can’t wait to see all the wonderful things you accomplish in the next four years.

Love,