Everyone knows about the sacred tradition in sororities and fraternities that is known as Big & Little. Of course there is criticism when it comes to this tradition, and those people who make snide comments, but those within Greek Life, know how special it is to have that Big and Little bond.
As a Big, you guide your Little throughout his/her college years, and even later in life, helping them stay in the right direction. You continuously give advice and aid your Little in everything it is that they need. But what about what a Little has to say? What makes a great Big?
So here goes. Advice to all you Bigs out there (including those who will become a Big soon), from me, a Little.
1. Answer my phone calls - ALWAYS
When I call you, it may just be because I'm walking home from the gym on a Tuesday night and just want someone to talk to about my intense workout. Or it could be because I just bombed my Math Final. It could even be because I had an altercation with someone and I'm about to break down. Regardless of my need to call, answer. You always know what to say, and I'm always going to need to hear it.
2. Don't act like being my Big is a job
The worst is being reminded that you're only around because you're being forced to. You're not my mom, you're not my dad, you're not my guardian or anything of that nature. You're my friend above all, and I want you to act like it. If you don't like being with me, that's fine. I'd rather you not hangout with me, than be with me and be disengaged.
3. Don't act like my parent
Nothing is worse than a friend who doesn't know their place. Of course your main goal as my Big is to keep me guided and doing the right things, but that comes scarcely. It is not your job to tell me what I can and cannot do. That's not to say that I won't appreciate your opinion on why I should or should not do something, but don't be upset when I go against your wishes. College is about exploring, taking risks, and making mistakes. You may not agree with my choices, but they are solely mine.
4. On that note, support me in all that I do
Over the years, you and I have gone through a lot. We have grown to become best friends, sisters/brothers. You know me more than most, and with that comes the power to understand that I may not always be the smartest decision maker. Furthermore, we have come to realize that we don't always agree in every situation. With that, comes disagreement when it comes to my choices. I will always be open to your advice, but even if you do disagree with something that I am choosing to do, please always support me. Nothing is worse than not having your support.
5. Be an example
Show me what is right and what is wrong. Help me make choices when it comes to something as simple as a rush outfit, or when its something as extreme as a career decision. Your guidance extends far past the sorority/fraternity and into my life. I look up to you as a role model, and that is a very powerful ball in your court. Use it wisely.
6. Always be yourself
You don't need to bother with impressing me. You're my Big, which means I'm impressed enough. I don't care what you look like without makeup on, nor do I care if you burp really loudly. Just be yourself. Our relationship should be pure, innocent and strong, and we won't have that if you're not being who you really are. You accept me for my weird, obnoxious self, so of course I'll accept you for whoever you are.
7. Don't be afraid to confide in me
You're my big. You're my role model, and someone I will grow to talk to just about everyday. I tell you everything from how I accomplished a yoga pose in last nights class, to all about my ex boyfriend drama. And as much as I know you love hearing it and helping me out with my problems, I'm sure you have your own that you're dealing with. Don't be afraid to talk to me, cause I have a lot of wisdom too, and you may be surprised that I can help you too.
8. Check in on me
You know me inside and out. If I'm quiet when we're together, or if I'm kind of in the background of events, you know something is wrong. If we haven't talked in a few days, you're probably suspicious. Text me, call me, drop in randomly. Odds are, I'm having a rough time and I could really use you. Don't be afraid to be 'too involved in my life,' because as my big, you have that right, and I will love when you take advantage of it.
9. Set aside time to spend with me at least once a week
Whether its Taco Tuesdays at my apartment, or Sunday Funday's running around town, lets set aside sometime to spend with each other alone each week. Relationships grow when you spend one on one time with each other, and just have fun. We both could probably use the stress reliever, and what better person to spend some relaxing time with than your Big/Little?
10. Love me unconditionally
Lastly, college is crazy and a whole new playing field. It brings in whirlwinds of changes, as well as new experiences and people, and of course, expectations of telling you who and what to be. Life is hard when you're trying to live up to the 'standards' of society. So as my Big, I'm asking you to just love me and accept me for who I am. Help me learn to love myself, and in the process, I know I'll help you do the same.
Shout out to my Big for doing all of these things for me, I love you.
