In the past few years, more awareness has come about in regards to catcalling. Between viral videos, public discussion, and advocacy groups we have started recognizing the problems with catcalling. However, we still have enormous room for improvement.
I’m aware that catcalls don’t ALWAYS lead to violence. Sometimes they appear pretty harmless. For example, once when I was 19, I was walking to the airport with my suitcase in tow when a man on the sidewalk yelled, “Damn girl, I wish I was a suitcase so you could pull me around.” I chuckled the whole way to the airport because of his nonsensical attempt at wooing me. I like to think that later he looked back on that interaction and truly believed that he nailed it.
I don’t mind laughing at this event, but the truth is, even catcalling that initially appears harmless is still problematic. The very act of catcalling indicates a sense of entitlement to women. It’s jarring to know that strangers think they have any sort of ownership over my body that makes it acceptable for them to make unsolicited comments. Even if the words chosen aren’t sexually explicit, catcalling is still harassment.
I know that there are a lot of “nice guys” out there who would curse me for presenting an obstacle to them finding their true love via screaming at a woman across a dark street. I know, I’m another girly writer ruining millions of precious male lives. I’m the worst. But before anyone pelts my apartment window with microwavable pork rinds and empty bottles of Mountain Dew: Code Red, let me try break something down for you.
Remember that Star Wars themed birthday party you threw in the third grade? Remember how you had to keep your dog Skipper locked in your room because you invited your friend Chris who was afraid of dogs? Remember how even though your Skipper in particular had never done anything wrong, Chris couldn’t be around any dog without feeling terrified because he had been attacked by a dog when he was a toddler? Remember how everyone understood why Chris would flinch if he heard a dog barking? Cool! You have a great memory!
That little trip down memory lane is to make you understand that catcalling immediately has a negative connotation for women. Not every man catcalls (or means it in a negative way) but every woman has been catcalled and associates that act with fear. It’s just like the Chris vs. Skipper debacle. When you catcall someone, it normalizes that behavior. That, in turn, creates an environment that makes violent people feel that their actions make sense.
Let’s look at some specific instances:
In 2010, a fifteen year old named Shayla Raymond ran into the street to escape men harassing her on the sidewalk. She was immediately hit by three cars and died.
In 2013, Adrian Mendez offered a fourteen year old girl $200 to have sex with him. When she refused, Mendez choked her until she went unconscious and then ran over her multiple times with his SUV.
In 2015, a DePaul University student was sexually assaulted by a stranger who snuck up behind her while she was walking home. This happened a month ago, approximately two miles from my apartment.
In 2014, Elliot Rodger murdered six people and injured thirteen more. After the slaughter he committed suicide. The following are quotes from his manifesto that was published online:
“Finding out about sex is one of the things that truly destroyed my entire life. Sex… The very word fills me with hate. Once I hit puberty I would always want it, like any other boy. I would always hunger for it, I would always covet it, I would always fantasize about it. But I would never get it. Not getting any sex is what will shape the very foundation of my miserable youth.”
“I didn’t think I was ever going to experience sex in reality, and I was right. I never did. I was finally interested in girls, but there was no way I’d ever get them. And so my starvation began. The boys in my grade talked about sex a lot. Some of them even told me that they had sex with their girlfriends. This was the most devastating and traumatizing thing that I’ve heard in my life.”
“My orchestration of the Day of Retribution is my attempt to do everything, in my power, to destroy everything I cannot have. All of those beautiful girls I’ve desired so much in my life, but can never have because they despise and loathe me, I will destroy.”
Elliot Rodger’s act was atrocious, but the horror didn’t end once Rodger had taken his life. Online there were a slew of comments from men saying that this could have been avoided if women had just had sex with Elliot. It’s nauseating that there are people in the world who supported the idea that women deserved to die because they didn’t want to sleep with someone.
Was Elliot mentally ill? Yeah, I’m sure. Is this an issue that should be written off as mental illness and not discussed past that? Absolutely not. Elliot Rodger was a mentally unstable individual who lived in a society rife with desperately skewed ideas about women. Our culture’s constant objectification of women enabled him to become a murderer. Elliot Rodger is backed by a loyal pack of oily internet troll-men who defend his RIGHT to another person’s body.
To reiterate, catcalling doesn’t make you a murderer, but it does it help create a world that makes violent people feel justified in their actions. Please keep that in mind next time you think it would be fun or complimentary to yell at a woman you don’t know.
Avoid catcalling. The world would be significantly better without it.
