I never thought that I would be the girl that has to write letters to her boyfriend "Dear John" style and have Skype dates on a daily basis. Then again, I did not think I would ever meet my current boyfriend.
Going into the relationship, I knew he was going into the military. It was actually one of the first things we talked about. I could have ran. I was not quite invested in the relationship yet, however I quickly became so. This guy I loved was going to be gone for months at a time and I had to figure out how to cope with that. In hindsight I feel that I have advice for women about to go through the same thing.
1. Support him with all you have
All he wants is to know that you support him 100 percent. He knows you are struggling with him being gone, but writing him and telling him how much it hurts is only going to make him feel worse. He does not need that. Chances are he is having a rough enough time, especially if he is at boot camp. Let him know you are adjusting and you are fine. Put his mind at ease.
2. Throw yourself into another aspect of your life
I know that before he left, I spent every waking second with him. After I was done with classes at about 12:15 p.m., he would pick me up and we would hang out for the rest of the day. It was rough transitioning from that closeness to having nothing.
I threw myself into school and work. I studied more than ever and did homework that was not due for weeks (paid off when I got that A in math though). I picked up as many shifts as I could at work. I stayed busy, and it made the months go by faster. Two months felt like nothing. I advise you to do the same thing. Pick up a hobby. Try to get more hours at work or get another job. Join a club. Throw yourself into school. Get closer to friends you may have pushed away. Staying busy is crucial, especially when they are in boot camp with no phone.
3. Try not to think too much about what he is doing
He is suffering. He is going from living a civilian lifestyle and doing whatever he wants to being told how to use the bathroom. Try not to think about it because it will only make you upset. It is okay to think about him every once in a while, but try not to dwell on it. Everything will be okay.
4. Remain faithful
I know you have heard of people that cheat on their significant other that is in the service. Do not be that person. He is still your man. I know it's hard because humans have social needs, but trust me, staying faithful to him will absolutely pay off in the end. When you see him again, it will be so special.
5. Write him as often as you can
I sucked at this, but it is so important to write to your man. He is expecting letters from lots of people, but yours will always be his favorite. He is looking forward to all the mushy gushy stuff you will write to him. He is looking forward to hearing about how things are at school. And if he is anything like my guy, he will re-read your letter a thousand times a day. This also boosts his morale and encourages him to do better throughout the day. This is crucial, because in the beginning, this is your only form of communication. But remember, they do censor the letters coming in and out, so be careful what you write.
Trust me, I know this is one of the most difficult things you will do, but it gets easier as time progresses. This is his dream, and he wants his favorite lady to be behind him cheering him on. Although he is gone, he is always in your heart and you are always in his. Try to smile and remember that boot camp graduation is only a few months away. Plus, you'll get to see him in his uniform and he will look so fine!
