15 Invaluable Pieces Of Advice I Got From My Parents

15 Invaluable Pieces Of Advice I Got From My Parents

These were the pieces of advice that applied then and still apply now from my loving parents.

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My parents and I have a close relationship. Like every young adult, I fought with my parents growing up. As I moved further away from them, I realized how invaluable they are to me. I could not imagine life without them. Even when we disagree on things about my life, we still find the time to forgive one another and go back to the loving post-fight.

My family is special in the sense that growing up, there were few people who looked like me in our Silver Spring neighborhood. The school I attended had few brown children. All my friends were of other races and ethnicities. When I went to their homes, I learned just how different my family is from theirs.

The advice my parents gave me didn't feel like it would make a difference in my life. It sure does make a lot more sense now, whether it is about making friends, dating and relationships, or my choice in fashion.

These are 15 golden nuggets of wisdom my parents graced me with as a child growing up in their home:

1. When we're gone, your brothers and sisters will be all you have.

2. We won't be with you forever. 

3. Respect your elders and all authority figures.

4. When in public, dress for the future.

5. Become educated or be a hobo living out of a box.

6. Be something where you can do good things for the world.

7....Or become famous.

8. Do what you love, even if it's not medicine.

9. Find someone who respects you and understands your love of literature.

10. Don't wear a top and a bottom that both have patterns on them.

11. Forgive people; don't hold on to past hurt.

12. Even if someone is bad to you, be good to them. 

13. Don't judge someone harshly the first time you meet them, they could be having a bad day. 

14. Choose to marry someone who will make you happy and make us proud. 

15. Think positive and good things will happen. 

Looking back, I really should have listened more. These pieces of advice would have changed my life in huge ways if I would have listened to them then.

My parents still influence me now. I often hear their voices when I make decisions.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Friendly Reminder To Give Your Parents A Break, Because They Make Mistakes Just Like Us

As far as I was concerned, the birth of my parents coincided with my own.

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As children, there is a very obvious fact concerning our parents that we either consciously ignore or, in most cases, are completely oblivious to. And this fact is that our parents are, like everyone else, only human.

Up until recently, I never thought about who my parents were before they became "Mom" and "Dad." As far as I was concerned, the birth of my parents coincided with my own. And in becoming parents, I thought they were immediately bestowed with all of the powers that came with that grandiose title: unparalleled bravery and wisdom, unwavering patience and confidence, unrivaled strength and leadership.

Throughout my whole life, I have unfairly and unreasonably held them to these impossible standards of perfection, and when they failed to meet them, I blamed them for their shortcomings: whenever they would raise their voice at me, I blamed them for being mean. Whenever they refused to let me go out with my friends at night, I blamed them for being unfair. Whenever they couldn't offer me the "right" advice for my petty pre-teen problems, I blamed them for being unhelpful and even useless.

What I failed to acknowledge was the fact that my parents were not always parents. They were, and still are, the children of their own parents, meaning they hold within themselves all of the traits that come with that title: fear and naivete, impatience and uncertainty, weakness and inexperience. And so, it turns out that my parents are just children who are taking care of other children. Whenever they yelled at me, it is because they were capable of losing their patience.

Whenever they refused to let me stay out too late at night, it is because they were capable of being afraid; whenever they couldn't offer me the solution to all of my problems, it is because they were capable of simply not having all the answers.

And so we must remember that just like us, our parents are doing the best they can do, and just as they accept our best effort, perhaps we should learn to theirs as well.

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