When I was a senior in high school and I was committed to college, I thought I knew what I wanted. Everyone would ask about my future plans and I said my scripted line: "I'm going to college for Pre-Veterinary Medicine, then going to graduate school, blah blah blah." I felt as though I needed to know everything that I wanted, even though I wasn't 18 yet.
That is just CRAZY. Here I am, nearly 20 years old, and I don't even know what I am having for dinner tonight. How am I supposed to have my life planned out? My college has changed, my major is completely different, and I have made and lost friends.
If you really think about it, you have 18 years to decide everything that you want out of life, and the next 80 years to deal with those decisions. Why does society do this to us? We need to start being adults the minute we turn 18. Why is there so much pressure on having your life together when you still have to be home before 11 pm?
When I needed to transfer to a college closer to home, all I could think was, "What are people going to say? They're going to think that I couldn't handle it. They're going to think that I am weak and confused. They are all going to know that things aren't going according to plan."
When I changed my major I thought "People are going to think I'm not smart. People are going to think I couldn't do it. People are going to say that I'm 'wasting my brain' because I don't want to be a doctor or a scientist."
But that is not fair.
I could handle it, I am strong, and what I do with my life should benefit me, not some image that I am trying to uphold. I am smart. I am even smarter for choosing a major that will make me happy. I don't want to be a doctor and that is okay. I am not "wasting my brain" just because I'm not going to have an impressive job.
Since no one else feels the need to say it, then I will. It's okay to not have your life planned out. It's okay to live in the moment. It's okay to be unsure about your future. It's okay to not know where you will be living in 5 years. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and just live. You are never going to get anywhere by worrying about what people think of your choices. Plans change. Majors change. Schools change. Friends change. The best you can do is take it one step at a time.
Yes, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in life. I don't know where I'll be in 5 years or even 2 years. The only thing that I do know is that I want to be happy, and that is okay. Everyone needs to start somewhere.
