Slightly over one year ago, I was in the same position as you. I showed up to my dorm room with my close friends and family flustered and becoming increasingly anxious as I observed my new world around me. I was not prepared. My mother, growing up in a family of twelve in Glen Rock, New Jersey, was not able to afford college and began working immediately out of high school and my sister decided college was not in her best interest. The most advice I had received prior to my new life at the University of Virginia came from a few counselors at my high school as well as some teachers. Although this advice is useful, the personal details and suggestions that come from family members are truly what molds a student's mindset as they embark on their journeys in college. I did not have that leisure as well as many other students all over the country and around the globe. I have given some advice to upcoming students at talks through my high school but believe it would be more useful to share what I feel is important to make your experience at your university as fulfilling as possible.
Many first generation college students grow up in small hometowns where many of your close friends aren't attending college with you. I know this was certainly the case for me. I felt that if I was going to survive in college, I had to make as many friends as possible from the moment I stepped on grounds. I walked around and would feel anxious as I saw other students shaking hands and saying hello to other students they knew from their hometown. I would sometimes feel alone. It is important to realize that close friends are more valuable than making many temporary friends. I had the luxury of meeting my best friends in the first week of college and made the effort to get to know them on a level much more sophisticated than a hello as you pass by them on the way to class. In a nutshell, find the people you connect with best and hold on to them. Quality over quantity may be cliche, but in this case, it couldn't be more applicable.
One general stereotype of education at the next level is that it is nothing like high school. As a high schooler, I heard counselors give advice to a group of first generation college kids saying the likes of, "the course load is much greater" or "professors won't be willing to bump your grade up just because you ask politely." I, personally, was of those who didn't believe it. I was firm on the idea that college would be more difficult, but not to the extent that they stated. It just wasn't convincing enough. I was wrong. My best advice in this area is be patient with the transition. In the beginning, it will be awkward and unnatural, but it's important to force yourself to understand that you are no longer in high school. This is going to be how life is for the next four years so take your time to breakdown the new aspects of being on your own and take your time to get used to it.
If you're anything like me, much of the struggle of being a first generation student will be mentally. I remember countless nights with no sleep, overwhelmed with anxiety and stress about what the next day will bring. Much of this stemmed from the idea of failure, this mindset that you will let someone down. Mine was my mother. She had raised two kids on her own as she struggled with disabilities and a poor financial situation. She is truly the the strongest woman I have ever met. I say this not because I'm begging for sympathy, but because I know there are many other first generation students who have similar situations. My biggest fear was letting her down. This mindset is crippling and can force a person to live each moment as if they're every action could bring about failure. Do not have this mindset. Yes, that is much easier said than done, especially from a person who was unable to deal with it for the longest time. But there is comfort in knowing that you are not the only one with these thoughts and those who you feel you may let down, only want the best for you in your new adventure. Use this mindset as motivation rather than fear and anxiety.
There are many other little tips that I can give but these three are main points that I believe being first generation would have been most useful to understand. College brings about opportunities to kickstart your life as an adult so embrace it, don't fear it. You will be the generation of your family to give advice and personally, that puts a smile on my face. Simply, stay true to yourself and live out your college life how you see fit, not how you see others.
