Adult Versions of 5 Baby Items

Adult Versions of 5 Baby Items

Grown-ups use some equivalents to babies' things

Adulthood usually means more work, responsibilities, experiences, and wisdom. Hence, we assume that adults are more sophisticated than babies, which we are to some extent. However, in many ways, we are only bigger babies. If you don’t believe me, check out these 5 adult versions of things babies use!

1) Pacifier

Pacifiers soothe fussy babies. It calms the baby down, soothes irritated gums, and gives them something to nibble on before or after being fed.

Adults use chewing gum in the same way. (Some adults use ice). This adult “pacifier” is used as something low-calorie to munch on between meals or as a way to relieve stress.

2) Bib

Babies are extremely messy when they eat. It is as if they have not yet figured out where their mouth is. Their underdeveloped motor skills contribute largely to their messy eating, but what’s our excuse?

We may no longer have spit ups and need to be fed, but we still cannot seem to eat without some sort of bib. Napkins are the adult version of bibs. Whether they are the paper kind we buy or the fancy cloth kind in restaurants, the fact is that, as adults, we have still not mastered eating without spills.

3) “Blankie”

Every child, babies through toddlers, has this one item in the house that means a lot to them. It is usually something soft and familiar; it may be a blanket, piece of clothing, or stuffed animal. The universal name for this thing is “blankie” but a child may name it something unique. They cuddle with it and carry it everywhere with them, they never leave it, and they freak out if they realize that they don’t have it.

Now, tell me adults do not have this same “blankie” relationship with their phones. We carry our phones everywhere, we never leave it, and we freak out if we realize we don’t have it.

4) Tantrums

Temper tantrums are common among kids ages 1-3. It is a normal part of child development, in which kids use crying, screaming, kicking, biting, or spitting, to convey frustration, unhappiness, fatigue, discomfort, or hunger. Their lashing out at these ages is due to undeveloped language skills. They cannot tell their parents exactly what they want, so they lash out. Other times, kids just want everything to go their way… and so do adults, we are only better at concealing our self-centeredness.

Meltdowns are adult tantrums. Sometimes, life is just not following your script and it’s frustrating! Adult tantrums, like road rage, may include yelling, crying, explicit language, throwing things, hitting things (or people), and, in the movies, tearing clothes off hangers because that’s a completely normal reaction, apparently.

5) Bottles

Like the pacifier, a bottle of milk can calm a crying baby. Babies love their bottles, and so do some adults. Adult bottles are no longer filled with milk, but with a liquid that by law, only people over 21 should use. Some adults are soothed by bottles, much like babies. If they have had a stressful day and need to release tension, they grab a bottle.

Cover Image Credit: Halloween

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.

The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:

“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:


When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:

"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!


It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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