I always wondered when I would feel like I was an adult. I knew it wasn’t going to be when I turned 18 or when I graduated high school, and while being in college has taught me a lot about being independent, I wouldn’t say it has made me feel like an adult either.
For the longest time, I thought I would forever be in the liminal stage of simply pretending to know what I was doing when, in truth, I have no idea. Then it hit me, I may not have everything figured out, but I am closer to being a full-fledged adult than I have ever been.
We tend to define adulting by doing things for ourselves that we had previously relied on our parents for. However, it has become clear to me that being an adult is not just about doing things you don’t want to do. I realized I began to feel like an adult when I came to the conclusion that while I value my family’s emotions and opinions, the choices I make are ultimately up to me. In short, I can do whatever I want.
Now, I am not talking about going crazy at one’s first taste of freedom because mommy and daddy are no longer telling you what to do with your time. What I am talking about is the ability to think through the paths that lie ahead of you in a rational and level-headed way in order to come to a conclusion that fits you best.
Being an adult is having the power to decide which paths you want to follow and having the ability to change those paths as often or as many times as you want.
Of course, this is more easily done when you have figured out some of the tasks that come with “adulting” such as being relatively financially independent and having the initiative to take care of yourself. Once you have those things figured out, however, there is nothing to stop you from moving across the country, transferring schools or taking a job on the other side of the world.
It is great to consult family on these types of life changes, but being an adult means that no one can tell you no. If you feel that there is a change that needs to be made and you are in a position to make that change without relying on the financial support of others, then who is to say you are not an adult?
It is scary to realize that maybe adulthood is not too far around the corner, but it is also truly empowering to know that it is not impossible to succeed. Just seek independence, be rational and responsible and don’t let others' opinions keep you from doing the things you want to do.
Just be an adult.
