I once read an article by USAToday that stated: “The number one leading cause in college depression is family dysfunction.” I don’t know if that was always true, because college can be scary and saddening, regardless of what is going on at home. Everyday a part of me wishes I was home to help my family, so my mother wouldn’t be so stressed and I could be surrounded by the people who have always been there for me. Because I came into college alone. Sure I have made some friends, close friends that I personally believe I will keep regardless of if I stay at App or not. But that doesn’t make being here any less hard.

I was never very excited about college. I never knew, and still don’t know what I want to do, or where I want to go. And sometimes I allow that to stop me from being happy. Because I know college is important, and it is something that will help me get a good job and go places I never thought I could go. Since that is years away, college seems to be more like a burden than a blessing. The long nights, the loneliness, the struggle to stay on top is exhausting, and every single student lives with it and accepts it as their norm.

Part of me believes that college isn’t right for me, and that I can always find a job without it. But already a month has gone by and I can see how much a privilege getting to go to college really is for some people, and that I shouldn’t take it for granted. So I’m trying to learn to love it, and to accept that this is where I need to be for four years, and always remember that the people that really love me will be there when I get out.

Besides, college is described as the best time of peoples lives, the place where they make friends for life and make memories that can never be forgotten. I’m going to do my best to make college that place for me. Even if college doesn’t mean going to App in the future, because maybe I belong somewhere else. But right now I go to App and App is the place that is most likely to benefit my future. Although adjusting to living in a new place is hard, scary and confusing, it is worth giving a try because you should do anything you can to make your future better.