Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

From the girl who's been hurt by the people closest to her, this is the damage acting against your word does to a person.

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No matter how many times certain people have told me they love me growing up I have struggled to believe it. Their actions never showed me that they truly cared about me or really loved me. Instead, I felt like they were obligated to care about me and loved me because they had to.

Unfortunately, this has impacted me greatly in my adult friendships and relationships. I have the hardest time believing that people want me around, care about me or even love me in the case of some relationships.

When people tell me, they love me or care about me oftentimes I simply don't believe them. Until someone proves repeatedly that they do care. It has cost me relationships and friendships because I get called needy or clingy.

It's not that I'm needy or that I'm clingy. I just need reassurance people are going to do what they say and that they aren't going to leave me in the dirt when I no longer benefit them.

It hurts me deeply that the first thing I think of when I try to contact someone, and they don't return my call or text for a day or two that they're never going to get back to me. I was used to only being talked to when it's convenient for that person.

There is a lot of pain in my heart caused by feeling like a burden to my loved ones. The biggest response when I talk about this or elude to feeling uncared for is, "They love you, it's just they don't know how to show it."

Another response is, "they didn't mean it like that." Why would someone say something they don't mean? How can people say things they don't mean? If they didn't mean it the thought would have never popped into their head.

I'm trying to not think of the people who make me feel bad and focus on the people in my life who do show that they care about me. I don't take for granted the people who stick by my side and constantly show me they truly care about me just like I care about them.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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10 Fun Things You Should Do With Your College Friends Before Summer

Before your friend from New York heads back home, grab her and enjoy her company while you can.

akumari
akumari
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1. Go on a shopping spree for summer clothes

2. Try out a new restaurant

3. Get matching tattoos (or henna if this is too extreme)

4. Get piercings together

5. Go bowling with a group of friends

6. Go skydiving

7. Go explore a zoo

8. Go on a hiking trail

9. Plan out a weekend to meet over the summer

10. P-A-R-T-Y!!

In college, you meet people from all over the world. Though when you become best friends with those people it is hard to say goodbye when the college year ends. Hopefully, these ideas will help you say goodbye easier (it will definitely be hard but at least you have these memories to hold on too)!

akumari
akumari

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