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Get Your Act Together, Greeks

Your weekly advice column

Sep 24, 2014

Hi ya’ll! We’re back with another week of fabulous advice! Because we wanted to slap you in the face with our best advice, we don’t have a guest advice giver this week. Keep sending your advice questions to scott201@purdue.edu or 317-979-1026.

Dear Claire and Abby,

My boyfriend is going through this phase where he is basically trying to be Eminem. It all started when he watched 8 Mile for the first time a couple weeks ago. Since then he has bleached his hair and only speaks in raps. It is driving me crazy and I miss the old him. How do I deal?

Sincerely, Future Kim Scott

Dear Future Kim,

You should start dressing and acting just like Rihanna. You can cut your hair short and get a chest tattoo and wear see-through rhinestone dresses. You guys can be the new power couple on campus. Embrace his new 8 Mile look.

Sincerely, Claire and Abby

Dear Claire and Abby,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, now, and everything is going great except for one thing. Since before I met him he has been obsessed with Playboy Magazine and continues to read it religiously even though I have told him repeatedly that it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to be too pushy, but I really don’t want him to be reading this magazine because it makes me a little jealous.

Sincerely, Pam Anderson’s Only Competition

Dear Pam,

We suggest that you start reading Playgirl Magazine in front of him and hanging naked male centerfold posters on your wall. Your BF will probably start to feel the same way you do and will hopefully quit his habit. If you realize he starts to like your new magazine more than his own, you might have a little bit bigger problem on your hands.

Sincerely, Abby and Claire

Dear Claire and Abby,

What’s Gucci? I recently bought a Razor Scooter. Does this turn you on or off? Sincerely, Hot Wheels

Dear Hot Wheels,

We are team razor scooter. Number six on my list of things I’m looking for in a guy is “heelies/razor scooter.” So needless to say, it’s a turn on. Call me (wink wink).

Sincerely, Clabby

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Your weekly advice column

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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