An Ace up your sleeve is a hidden card with the ability to make or break your game. It's that secret force you have when you need a little help to win with the hand you've been dealt.
I've been to the casino; all the lights, hospitality, the rush. It draws you in. It can be intoxicating.
Its like when you have the chance to win big you wont stop feeding the slot machine $20 at a time.
Although we all have the general understanding that you will most likely lose much more than you'll gain, the micro chance of walking away a winner is enough to void our common sense.
We'll double down and risk our chips on the whim of a half decent hand and our ability to bluff.
With you as a friend though, I feel like my chances of breaking even, maybe even winning is increased.
You're my Ace.
Now I'll be honest with you here, you weren't exactly someone I wanted to get to know in the first place. You seemed cold, uninterested in what goes on around you.
You've always presented the vibe of being distant and unattached. How we got from there to here I'm still not exactly sure, but I'll call it a happy accident.
The first time we ever really acknowledged each other besides passing glances and occasional calls for assistance at work was when we got a moment of peace standing there, complaining about the rush. Even then, I never pictured you being a consistent part of my day to day life.
I know I'm a pain in the ass sometimes, you are too, but this friendship means a lot to me. Even though you refuse to call this a friendship, (god forbid you lose that lone wolf persona.)
I'd bet money that if anyone took a good look at this "whatever" relationship we have they'd think we were best friends. Maybe more, as some coworkers teased us about when we'd be screaming at one another in the aisles. I don't think they really heard us though.
All we ever did at work was complain to each other, or threaten each other in a joking manner. But i suppose that's what makes this fun.
One of the biggest things I admire about you, though, is that you are so constant. You stay true to what makes you, well...you.
You stick to your guns when it comes to your personality. You are one of the realest people I know, and I never worry that the boy I talked to today wont be the same boy tomorrow.
Also, we've come to have dynamics in this friendship.
You're a jerk, I'm a sweetheart.
You're not so open, I'm an open book.
You're the sarcastic one, I'm the one who tries to make people laugh with lame jokes.
We've found the best way the two of us operate together.
I wouldn't change it if I had the option, this is us. This is the way things are supposed to be.
On the other hand, when we aren't so busy being the polar opposites of each other, we have a lot in common. (Shocking, I know.) But something has to make this traveling circus run smoothly.
The biggest thing we have in common is our pasts, and our presents. We both deal with things internally that are still a stigma to speak about openly.
As you've said, depression is a bitch. But its nice to have someone who gets it, who gets me. When that part of my brain is on overdrive, I know you're just a text away from helping me make sense of things, and encouraging me to be happy. You're good at that.
In fact, I think we've reached a level of closeness that doesn't happen often between people.
You'll tell me when I'm being a bitch.
You'll correct me when I'm making bad choices.
Half the time when I look for your advice or your shoulder to cry on it isn't because I don't know what to do. I'm just waiting to see what you say.
Your opinion really does mean that much to me. This friendship took a lot of building, a lot of getting over old habits and taking the risk of letting someone in for once. And as much as I believe in you, I know you believe in me too.
You aren't a card that's going to win me a million dollars, but you are that friend that makes me feel like I'm just one step closer to it.
You've taught me a lot this far, I hope I've done the same for you.
This isn't the classic "friendship" story, but I'm thankful our story is still interesting. It all fits in our dynamic. It's just part of who we are.
So thank you for all that you do for me, even when you don't know what you're doing.
I hope you know I'll always have your back, because you'll always be an ace.