Accepting The Love You Actually Deserve

Accepting The Love You Actually Deserve

Never let anyone rob you of yourself
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Let’s kick it off with quote from Stephen Chbosky’s "The Perks of Being A Wallflower", “We accept the love we think we deserve.” The main character, Charlie, had been speaking to his English teacher and told him about his sister’s abusive relationship. Charlie has seen her boyfriend hit her, but his sister had told him not to tell their parents about it. And that’s when the English teacher delivers that line to Charlie.


When he gets home he sees his sister crying and their parents standing in front of her. He knows his teacher has told their parents.

"My sister was crying. My mom was very very quiet. My dad did all the talking. He said that my sister was not allowed to see the boy who hit her anymore, and he was going to have a talk with the boy’s parent’s tonight. My sister then said that it was all her fault, that she was provoking him, but my dad said it was no excuse.
'But I love him!' I had never seen my sister cry that much.
'No, you don’t.'
'I hate you!'
'No, you don’t.' My dad can be very calm sometimes.
'He’s my whole world.'
'Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.' That was my mom."






It’s a heartbreaking encounter to read. To hear just how broken she has become in the relationship. Charlie’s sister believes she deserves this. She says she has provoked him. She says that she loves him. She defines this non-love as love because this is the love she thinks she deserves.
But no one deserves that. Never go blind to that fact, that no one deserves that.


You deserve love. The definition of love that you created for yourself in first grade. The one of cut out hearts and scribbled I love you’s. You deserve a love that respects you, supports you, embraces you. That is the love that you deserve, no matter who you are, what mistakes maul your past or what flaws befall your name, you deserve that love. From family, from friends, from any significant other, that is the love that you deserve, do not settle for a love that is anything less.


Do not stay with someone out of fear; fear that you may never find someone else who will love you or fear that this is what you deserve.

If you are with someone who is jealous
Who does not trust you
Who is controlling of your life
Who does not respect you sexually
Who plays the blame game
Who makes you feel like you owe them something
Who does not support your goals and dreams
Who makes you feel insecure in your appearance
Who devalues your experiences
Who does not respect your opinions
Who abuses you physically, sexually, or emotionally
Who fits the warning signs of an abusive relationship
Move on, please.
















Never let anyone rob you of yourself.



For help getting out of an abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233

Cover Image Credit: Impfashion

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17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
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We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

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4 Signs That You Might Be A Pushover In Your Relationship

There's a fine line between being considerate and overly-accommodating in a relationship, here are some signs to help you determine which side of the line you're on.

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While most of us consider ourselves independent individuals who are secure enough to maintain our own values while respecting someone else's, the difference between being flexible and completely bending to a romantic partner's will can be a slippery slope.

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that everything the two of you disagree on suddenly disappears. There are times when you'll have to occasionally make concessions in order to reach a solution, but you should never be the one to relent every on every issue. If you're not sure about how you stand in your relationship here are few signs that you may be a dating pushover.

1. You let them set the pace of the relationship

It can be hard to know if things are moving at a normal speed, especially if you're new to relationships. If you feel like things are moving too quickly or like the two of you aren't on the same page and choose to ignore it because the other person is content with where you are, then you're not giving your own feelings enough consideration. A relationship is not just about one person's emotions, disregarding the ones you're unsure about to avoid making waves doesn't make you peacekeeper, it makes you a pushover.

2. Your lack of an opinion is replaced by theirs

It's okay not to have an opinion on every issue plaguing our society at the moment, but it's not okay to allow your partner to declare a stance for you. If you're having a conversation with friends and politics are being broached and your S/O prefaces their statement with "We think," -knowing darn well that you don't have anything to say about Trump's administration and they think he's the best thing since Netflix started streaming "Friends"- and you don't interject with your true feelings, then you've just let them know that their preferences are more important than yours.

3. You conform to the way they see you

People are multifaceted and complex beings. While Tinder may ask you to describe yourself by a handful of defining characteristics to better match you with a mate, you are more than just "quiet" and "indoorsy". If you find yourself with someone who reduces you to labels that complement them, chances are that the more you're around them the more you'll start to only identify yourself by those labels as well. When you conform to the 2-dimensional image that someone else has of you, you lose parts of your identity and become a social chameleon.

4. You alter your dreams to fit into theirs

It's exciting to picture your life with someone you care and are serious about. Of course, you have to make some configurations in order for things to work for the both of you, but there has to be an equal amount of compromise for it to be healthy. If you're working towards a degree that would open doors for you to meet new people and have new experiences but your S/O has dreams to get settled sooner rather than later and makes you feel like you're overreaching in your life, don't abandon your vision for something that would fit into theirs.

Being a pushover does not mean you're a weak person. I don't think anyone sets out with the intent to be a chameleon dater. Sometimes it happens gradually, two people start off in a relationship thinking that they're compatible and then one person grows more comfortable and their will and opinions turn out to be stronger than the other persons'. Other times, you just make a poor judgment call and try to make things work with someone that wasn't meant for you.

If you find yourself to be a pushover in your relationship and you're unhappy about it, you can change. Take some time to learn about yourself and figure out what you want and who you want to be. You can't choose someone who really loves you and values your mind if you don't know how you need to be loved and understood. Whether you need a to step away from the dating scene, have a conversation with your romantic partner or even take a break from them, understanding yourself will strengthen all of your relationships in the long run.

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