Accepting The Love You Actually Deserve

Accepting The Love You Actually Deserve

Never let anyone rob you of yourself
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Let’s kick it off with quote from Stephen Chbosky’s "The Perks of Being A Wallflower", “We accept the love we think we deserve.” The main character, Charlie, had been speaking to his English teacher and told him about his sister’s abusive relationship. Charlie has seen her boyfriend hit her, but his sister had told him not to tell their parents about it. And that’s when the English teacher delivers that line to Charlie.


When he gets home he sees his sister crying and their parents standing in front of her. He knows his teacher has told their parents.

"My sister was crying. My mom was very very quiet. My dad did all the talking. He said that my sister was not allowed to see the boy who hit her anymore, and he was going to have a talk with the boy’s parent’s tonight. My sister then said that it was all her fault, that she was provoking him, but my dad said it was no excuse.
'But I love him!' I had never seen my sister cry that much.
'No, you don’t.'
'I hate you!'
'No, you don’t.' My dad can be very calm sometimes.
'He’s my whole world.'
'Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.' That was my mom."






It’s a heartbreaking encounter to read. To hear just how broken she has become in the relationship. Charlie’s sister believes she deserves this. She says she has provoked him. She says that she loves him. She defines this non-love as love because this is the love she thinks she deserves.
But no one deserves that. Never go blind to that fact, that no one deserves that.


You deserve love. The definition of love that you created for yourself in first grade. The one of cut out hearts and scribbled I love you’s. You deserve a love that respects you, supports you, embraces you. That is the love that you deserve, no matter who you are, what mistakes maul your past or what flaws befall your name, you deserve that love. From family, from friends, from any significant other, that is the love that you deserve, do not settle for a love that is anything less.


Do not stay with someone out of fear; fear that you may never find someone else who will love you or fear that this is what you deserve.

If you are with someone who is jealous
Who does not trust you
Who is controlling of your life
Who does not respect you sexually
Who plays the blame game
Who makes you feel like you owe them something
Who does not support your goals and dreams
Who makes you feel insecure in your appearance
Who devalues your experiences
Who does not respect your opinions
Who abuses you physically, sexually, or emotionally
Who fits the warning signs of an abusive relationship
Move on, please.
















Never let anyone rob you of yourself.



For help getting out of an abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233

Cover Image Credit: Impfashion

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’d Much Rather Celebrate Valentine’s Day With My Single Girlfriends Than Any Guy

Bring on the pizza and ice cream because Valentine's Day is Girls Only this year.

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Being single during any time of the year is difficult, but it can be even harder with Valentine's Day quickly approaching. People either love it or love to hate it. It's a day filled with dramatic romantic gestures, carefully planned dates, and an abundance of roses and chocolates. Well, at least for some it is. The pressure to have a "Valentine" as well as have the perfect evening is so high that in my option it completely takes the fun out of the day. So this Valentine's Day, I won't be stressing over the perfect outfit, restaurant or date. Instead, I'll be deciding if I should have another slice of pizza while my girlfriends try to figure out which cheesy rom-com we should watch next.

I don't hate Valentine's Day, I actually think it's really romantic. I think it's great that some people find happiness in grand gestures and extravagant presents. When I feel about someone strongly enough, I'm sure I'd do the same, but as of right now I don't. I don't want to be someone valentine or worry about finding the perfect gift. I want to focus on myself and just have a fun night with my girls. We worry so much about what everyone has to say about the things we do that often times we don't make any decisions for ourselves. Be a little selfish and do only what you want. Order too much food, break out the wine, and enjoy a stress-free night with the people that mean the most to you.

You will find me on the couch with my sorority sisters most likely catching up on "The Bachelor" or ruining our diets with dollar store sweets. And yes, I know there's an unofficial holiday already called, "Galentine's Day" (which I will be celebrating too) that's for ladies celebrating ladies. Who says you can't do it two nights in a row? Who says that Valentine's Day has to be a day spent with a romantic partner?

This is me telling you to take this day to have some fun and ignore the pressures society (and ourselves) put on ourselves constantly. Surround yourself with the people who support you; the ones who stick around through it all and love you unconditionally. If you still want to stay in the festive mood, you can exchange valentines with your friends and treat each other with chocolate hearts. And if you want to celebrate Valentine's Day with your significant other, go ahead, I'm not stopping you.

So, no matter what Valentine's Day for you is, celebrate it however you want. Dress up to the nines and have the night of your life. Stay in, order takeout, and fall asleep watching a movie. Hang out with your girlfriends, guy friends, or both! It doesn't matter how you do Valentine's Day, but rather who you spend it with.

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