People do not like to be rejected. It makes you feel sad inside. It makes you feel crummy. It makes you feel like you are lacking something. You ask yourself “Why did this person reject me?” Human beings are created to want community. We want to be accepted. We want to be wanted and sometimes even needed. We long for purpose and meaning. Maybe not everyone has soul-searched and found the need for these things, but I am sure at least a few people have.
How can I possibly tell you to accept rejection gracefully? The truth is, I have been rejected a lot. You might think this is an odd thing for me to admit to. You might even feel sorry for me, but do not be. I have learned a lot because of my experiences with rejection. I have learned the good, bad, the ugly, and the beautiful about being rejected.
I am going to tell you two stories. The first is about a girl who started high school in a new place with her best friend. During the year, her best friend made a new friend. The girl was no longer a friend to her best friend. She felt heartbroken and rejected. She was no longer good enough. The second story is about a college student interested in a guy. This guy was popular. He made her laugh and smile, so she took a chance and told him she liked him. He told her he was not interested. He just wanted to be friends. The girl smiled and celebrated. The boy may not like her, but that just means there is someone out there better for her. That just means he is missing out on getting to know her and being loved by her.
All those stories are about me. I was rejected by my best friend my freshman year of high school and I was rejected by a guy my junior year of college who I liked. Are there other stories I can tell about being rejected? You betcha. I chose those two for a reason, though.
My best friend rejecting me was the first time I had truly felt rejected. I did not know how to handle it or understand it at all. I never wanted to make friends again. I could not understand how someone so close to me could just drop me like I was never important to them. It did not make any sense, it still does not make any sense.
The second story is humorous. I chose to be brave and tell a guy how I felt about him. Did I really like him that much? I don’t really know. Honestly, I knew he did not like me. I anticipated his rejection. As if his rejection was a confirmation that I was made to be rejected.
Instead of seeing rejection as something we have lost, we need to look at rejection as again. We gained knowledge. We gained time that could have been wasted on this person who rejected us. We gained new opportunities to meet new people who will love us. We gain the opportunity to soul search and truly know ourselves. Once we know ourselves, we are less likely to go for people who will reject us.
Humans are often attracted to people like ourselves or we are attracted to people who have what we lack. In one case, we are usually not rejected by our “own kind.” When we go for people who have what we lack there is a potential for rejection. Those tries should not be stopped though. We should always look to expand ourselves. Life is all about growing.
Rejection is neither good or bad. It is just inevitable. In this lifetime, we will be rejected. It is not the end of the world. Instead of focusing on what you do not have because you got rejected, think of all the things you already have. Thinking this way sounds easier than it is doing, but you have human will power. It is your choice on how you see being rejected.
Think of rejection as a gift. You were not made to be liked by everyone. You are not made to like everyone. When you accept rejection gracefully, you can also feel less guilty when you reject someone. Do not act like you have never rejected anyone. Even in the smallest of ways, we all have disliked a person for such and such a reason. Just let life happen. Rejection is not the end of the world, it is merely a beginning for something new.
