We've all heard the quote "We accept the love we think we deserve" from the film The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I'm sure my 14-year-old-self was deeply moved when I first heard it and probably had it in my Twitter bio at some point, but I never really took the time to understand what it means.
Rather than to think of it as some definite truth, I've decided that this can be an applicable rule in our lives.
Thinking back, the lowest points of my life were defined by mean friends or a terrible guy. I'm sure you can look back at some relationship too and think "why in the world did I let that go on for so long". We can say now that we deserved a better love than what we were receiving, but in those moments we weren't thinking that.
We were accepting the love that we thought we deserved.
We see friends going through this all the time. You're lying if you say you haven't told a friend "you deserve better" at least once and then wondered why they couldn't see themselves from our perspective.
So why is it so hard for us to tell that to ourselves?
We are so quick to see how deserving others are, but cannot seem to see that in ourselves.
The truth is, there is no limit to what you deserve. No matter what mistakes you've made or how badly you might perceive yourself, no one out there can decide that you are only deserving of partial love while someone else is deserving of unconditional love. It is YOUR decision completely.
In knowing this, also know that not everybody can give you that love. You will not always find what you deserve in the people you want it from. If you feel stuck with friends who aren't kind to you or with a guy who belittles your worth, you have to get out to find better.
A lot of people fear the loneliness that might come from seeking better, but remember this — receiving no love is better than receiving bad love.
So, know from this that you ARE deserving and you CAN get the love that you want if you are actively reaching for it. Loving yourself fully and knowing your own worth is the first step to finding people who will do the same.
It's time to start accepting that you deserve the best from the world, and not settle until you get it.
