You know that dreaded feeling you get when you find out someone doesn't like you? Or you find out someone you barely know said something about you? It's that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach where you're forced to either question who you are or question who they are, or simply just try not to question it. But here's what I learned, the sinking feeling is a waste and it's got to go.
Because you're not meant to please everyone, and the world was certainly not created for everyone to like you. Even if someone doesn't like you, there is always a reason.
And even if there isn't a reason, you shouldn't overthink it. And frankly, I should really be listening to my own advice.
Living in Israel for most of the summer right across from Aroma was certainly a great time. I love Aroma and relied on it heavily for those dreaded hangovers. There's nothing a delicious Ice Aroma (basically a coffee flavored slushee) and sandwich can't fix. But I learned, the one day my sister came in, that apparently every time I went into Aroma I was never smiling. The lady said to my sister that I was serious and never looked happy. Immediately I laughed it off and realized that of course, I was never smiling because I was always either exhausted or hungover. But soon that sinking feeling kicked in.
I thought, "how could she judge me when she doesn't even know me?"
And that feeling didn't go away for quite some time. It's really silly, but knowing that someone doesn't like me is something I can't stand. Or at least knowing that someone doesn't like you without even really knowing you. But here's the thing, judging someone for thinking something not positive of me is silly. We all judge, whether we like it or not. Everyone's observant, everyone makes snap judgements about people without even realizing it, that's just the way it is.
But the issue is that even though we all know that, it's knowing what people say about you, it's knowing when they're judging you, that really stirs the pot. Sometimes, I'd rather just be ignorant, not know, and simply assume people don't dislike me. But that'd mean I'm living in a world clouded by my own poor judgment, living with blind optimism, and seeing the world not how it truly is.
So even though I've always wanted to be the type to never care what anyone thinks, deep down, I really do believe everyone, to some extent, cares what others think. And I find it nearly impossible to not. Because if everyone didn't care what people thought about them, I'm sure the world would be even more chaotic than it already is.
Sometimes it's best to just accept it, accept the fact that not everyone will like you. And instead of working hard to not care about that fact, we should all work hard to simply accept it. Caring a little doesn't make you weak or a people pleaser, it just makes you human.
I will work hard to accept the fact that I can't please everyone and that no matter what, I shouldn't try to get someone to like me if they blatantly don't. And for the people who assume I suck when they don't even know me, trying to prove them wrong will only be more exhausting. Instead of trying to prove others wrong, you should try and prove yourself right. Because living for others will only leave you exhausted and unhappy.
So to the worker at Aroma, I'm sorry that you made such a blunt judgment about me. But I shouldn't take it personally, we all judge each other every split second. I wouldn't be offended if she just kept her opinion to herself. But we're all entitled to our own opinions, and accepting that will be one step closer to losing that feeling in the pit of your stomach, whenever you discover that someone doesn't like you.