September 2014, my first day of High School.

Everyone has an image of what high school will bring them happiness, friendship and the upbringing end of your mandatory schooling. This was the year I was emotionally abused for nine months. I will share my story with you all in hopes that one day you can take the advice I have and trauma I carry in every relationship five years later. Abuse is defined as treating (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. There is no time frame where abuse can be contained, the abuse can be a day,week,hour,months or years. Abuse comes in many forms physical,domestic violence,sexual,psychological,emotional,financial or material etc. My story is strictly emotional abuse, now this is not the most extreme case of abuse but, everyone's story is different.

My freshman year of High School I had taken multiple classes and one of them introduced me to the man I thought I loved. During the first few weeks of school we all did our worked and go to know the class, I decided to add more onto that by introducing myself to the guy that sat behind me. Everything was going well, we started texting each other,hanging out and then things went to the next level of exclusively dating. Just like every relationship the beginning is always the best, as things continue to get serious you start to learn more about that person. While learning more about that person you start to see the true side of them. This being my first serious relationship, I was love struck. I was lost in the idea of being loved indefinitely by one person and calling them my boyfriend. In the second or third month things started to change, his true personality was showing and it started as jealousy. The jealousy started with my best guy friend, that friend being an Ex Boyfriend of a week (that's a different situation entirely), my boyfriend at the time told me I was not allowed to hangout or talk to him. In this situation I was focused on the love I had for that man at the time.

Once your significant other shows one part of being controlling make this the most important sign of getting out of the relationship. While caring for that boyfriend of mine I decided to listen to him because of the love. I lost my best friend the day I made that decision. I was controlled by who I could see and talk to and he didn't stop there. I lost my other best friends because they saw what I couldn't. Outside of the controlling of who I can and can not see I was also caused more verbally.

Being verbally abused is no different than being emotionally abused except you and most people around you get to hear it. I was told everyday that I was overweight, not super attractive and won't amount to anything. Everyday it was a constant reminder about something else in my past. He used personal stories that I shared against me again. That one thing I struggle with everyday and always have.

Nine months of emotional and verbal abuse later he texted me on Easter,

Him: " Are you happy?"

Me: "of course I am, why do you ask?"

Him: "because I'm not"

Him: "I think we should break up"

Once I got that last text I casually walked to my bedroom, shut the door and fell to the floor crying and couldn't catch my breath. My younger brother,dad and mom all came to the room and I couldn't speak, my open phone was laying on the floor and my brother read the messages. As I lay on the floor crying, I felt like my life just blew up in my face. The next day as I stayed home alone with my thoughts I get a message,

Him: "can I come see you and grab my stuff?"

Me: "sure"

Him:"Can I take you on a drive?"

Me:"what for? ,you just want your stuff."

Him:"I made a mistake and I want to talk"

Me: "okay"

Later that day with a lot of talking and crying, he asked me to be his girlfriend again. He told me on repeat how much he made a mistake, I was the best thing in his life etc. When I was telling my parents that I decided to take him back my parents told me how they truly felt about the situation and him. The story continues for two more months and I finally came to my senses. This is a story and trauma that I carry with me every single relationship and will never let happen again.

If you or someone you care about is in this situation, please, do not let it go unnoticed. For their emotional state,confidence and everything in between help them notice the signs. watching them ignore them or pushing you away is something they will have more trauma from because they have to go through on their own. For more information call

1-800-799-7233 the National Domestic Violence hotline.