Recently I started coaching middle school basketball and the first thing I learned is this: middle schoolers are completely different creatures and they make anyone feel ancient. I have been on this earth a short twenty years but I have never felt like such an old lady except when I am around middle schoolers. To prove my point here are 9 things that I have heard in our two-weeks of practice:

1. "Coach I bet you're a cool mom"

Let's get this right out in the open: I am twenty years old and have no idea what I am doing ninety-nine percent of the time and there is absolutely no way I could be a cool Mom. But hey, thanks for thinking great thoughts about me.

2. "Twitter is for old people"

Middle schoolers have one super power: the ability to make anyone feel old. I'm sorry but you're wrong, Twitter is not for old people because I HAVE TWITTER.

3. "Uh what is a travel?"

This is basketball practice. There is no dumb questions, but seriously???? Way to remind me that I am essentially the first contact some of these kids have with the game of basketball.

4. "Do you even know what a dead-leg is??"

"YES I KNOW WHAT A DEAD LEG IS. I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH ONCE TOO. NOW STOP GIVING EACH OTHER DEAD LEGS AND PLAY BASKETBALL."

5. "How'd you get so tall?"

This is actually my favorite because it was asked by a very sweet little four-foot B-Teamer. All I told her was "Drink gallons and gallons of milk. Go to the weight room and lift weights. That's the secret to growing to be 5'11 bud."

6. "Bet I can beat you in one on one"

I doubt I've laughed this hard in a while. Just imagine a 5'4 little dribbler challenging a 5'11 coach who's been playing basketball for fifteen years. We haven't played yet- I'll keep you updated.

7. "Can I bite you?"

No joke. I was asked not just once or twice and not even by the same person but I still had to deal with the whining because I said no.

8. "I'm going to bite you."

She did. It took every piece of self control to not whack her on the head but I held it together and all I had to say was, "I hope you got your rabies shot."

If you ever need a good chuckle, spend a little time with middle school girls. Maybe get updated on your vaccines first.