Throughout the past year, I have been greeted by many influential, inspiring women who have served as female role models and outlets for me. I've been blessed with the opportunity to have more than one person to come into my life and stay, but there is one specific person who's not only stayed, but has made me want to stay as well.
This one is for you.
When I entered college, I knew it was going to be an emotional rollercoaster. I knew I was going to have trouble adjusting and learning about myself. Regardless of what anyone told me, and even what I thought about my own situation, I refused to go to counseling. I thought that was far too much of an admission of craziness for me to handle.
Then, after I was pushed hard enough, I decided to go to counseling at UD. Even after the first visit I never wanted to go back. I thought I had sufficiently made everyone happy by going once. That's not event true. I went back and with a goal in mind this time: I was going to fake it and just do it to make everyone else happy. I had no expectations.
Then I met my counselor.
Speaking from someone who has had nothing but terrible experiences with counselors, I am still shocked and amazed I enjoy going to mine as much as I do. But there is something she's done for me that no one else has. She's not only called me out on my shit, but she's helped me evaluate it and try to fix it. She's helped me realize many things about myself I never would've known.
She has told me many things, but most importantly that I have options ahead of me. Throughout my appointments with her, it's become obvious to me that she is the one person I can speak to without being judged or ridiculed (on a good day). She by far has become the best counselor I have ever had in my entire life.
Thank you for letting me complain, over-react, cry, and explain my many situations. Thank you for helping me deal with the aftermath of all of my own reactions. Thank you for changing my mind on what it means to be a counselor.
I know what you're thinking right now: this ungrateful girl really is writing what she's grateful for without actually telling me. But you had asked me to write what I was grateful for daily, and as I was thinking and thinking, you were the one person that continued coming up in my mind.
I am grateful for YOU.
As I go throughout life, I am reminded constantly of your words in my mind. Mindfulness, options, choice, gratefulness. I can assure you that I've been to many counselors in my days, as you know, and when I keep putting myself in the same situations over and over again, they all just gave up on me. I've been told by some counselors that I shouldn't go to college, that I'm destined to stay depressed.
You weren't going to take any of that even if I tried.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be heard, and for showing me that it's okay not to be okay. You're a blessing in my life and I know that without you, I would not have survived. You honestly saved my life.
Sincerely, the best example of a hot mess,
Bri
