I wouldn't consider myself the prettiest or most attractive person in the room. I'm not the kind of person to turn heads when I walk into a room, get asked on dates, or seem desirable to the opposite sex, and I am completely okay with being that girl. Not having a boyfriend or casually "talking" to anyone has never been my top priority, but sometimes I wondered what I was doing wrong when my friends started going on dates and started seeing guys romantically.
In no way should a guy or romantic relationship determine your worth or how much you're wanted. Self-worth is determined by the person in the reflection.
I learned I couldn't make people like me no matter how determined or persistent I am. I cannot and will not change my appearance to change physical attraction or alter my personality to seem more compatible. Even if I did, my efforts would fall through because that is not a true version of who I am proud to be.
Comparison really does kill and does more harm than good. Self-improvement is meant for the individual's own self-esteem and confidence, not to grab attention from others. Giving the care and affection you would for someone else starts with love that stems from inside. People will come and go, but you have yourself to live with.
With that, romantic and intimate relationships are associated with maturity, but that is so far from the truth.
"Being ready" to lose your virginity isn't a sign of physical or emotional maturity. Physically, sex is complicated and has major impacts. Proper sex education and knowing your own body is crucial before getting sexually involved with someone. STDs and unplanned pregnancies are real and should be taken into serious consideration. Learning more about protected sex and other contraception takes away the stress too. However someone chooses to have sex, whether it is with a committed significant other or a string of one night stands, it is their decision and responsibility and does not speak to their readiness.
Unhealthy relationships and communication are so important. Any relationship, romantic or not, should enhance and add value to your life instead of causing stress. Being able to express emotions and opinions are crucial to a happy, long-lasting relationship and is not developed overnight. This is a life skill used in all areas of life and could always use improvement. The way people treat and speak to others is a reflection on how they see themselves.
Don't look at the other girls around you. As I said before, comparison hurts everyone involved.
I like to say I have a baby face and look younger than I actually am. I tried so hard to appear older to compensate and "look my age." Eventually, it was my mannerisms and the way I carried myself that spoke to my wisdom and maturity. It sounds like a cliche, but everyone is beautiful and handsome in their own way. Attraction is a completely different biological beast and beauty changes with culture, time and society. Everyone has their own pace in life and it is completely okay if it takes some time to get to have certain life events like everyone else. Rushing to those points in life take away from the experience.
A good life starts with a positive mentality. It takes practice and time, but it is completely worth it.
