A life that isn’t mine | The Odyssey Online
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A life that isn’t mine

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Amanda-Jo Hammer
Oct 31, 2022
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A life that isn’t mine

i’m 23. Living a life that i don’t believe is mine. a year ago my best friend janice and i would go out to the bars and dress up every weekend. we loved to dance and sing together. we did everything together. we had so much fun and for months i thought i was finally finding myself again.

a year ago next month i met ricky. we’ve been together ever since. 5 months ago i found out i was pregnant. 2 months i stopped loving him. our relationship os toxic, it’s pretend love. truth is we fucked up. i fucked up. i’m stuck in this life of the same shit everyday. he drinks too much, i cry and then out stays over the next day. we don’t love each other. this isn’t love. and i don’t know that i’ll never know what love actually is.

i thought i had real love once, his name was austin. he was military, handsome, kind. i remember thinking he was it. and then he wasn’t. i remember the day/last night we talked. i think about him everyday. and i know this isn’t suppose to be my life.

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