Let me start by saying that i am writing this to remind you that you aren't crazy. You are understood. I totally get what it's like to be an outsider in a town that you grew up in. I know what it's like to be told information about yourself that you entrusted with another human, or to have your entire life on a highlight reel for the people around you. And if you aren't that person, consider yourself lucky.
There have been numerous studies performed regarding how humans cope with depression. From live interviews to generated polls on social media platforms, there's one special fact that stuck with me: humans want a security blanket. This can be an object, an animal, or even another human being. Unfortunately, I have been a security blanket to one of my closest friends over the past year and it has been the most exhausting friendship i have ever experienced.
Everyone on this earth copes with the pain that they experience, differently. We all know that. However, you will come across people who use the pain that you experience or the situations that you find yourself in, to help them forget about their own pain. You become the ego-booster pal, the friend that always has a problem and no matter how bad their life may seem to them, yours will always be worse. These friends compare themselves to you by every inch. When an argument arises, expect your past or present flaws to be examined. Expect comments like “well at least I'm not an addict." Okay...... yours may not be that dramatic so just envision what fits best to your situation. My advice is to stop giving energy to this relationship. Do yourself that favor.
But honey, this absolutely does not give you the excuse to be a shitty human being. You can not have self love without self accountability and expect to grow. Admit your wrong-doings (the sooner, the better) but do not take all of the blame when the blame does not belong to you. Do no harm but take no shit. Do not allow your friends to compare your mistakes to theirs in hopes to make themselves seem more righteous. Do not just accept that some people can never be pleased with you - if they constantly make you feel like a failure, kick them to the curb!!!
If you have someone surrounding you that plasters your darkest secrets to the public when they're angry with you, don't shrug it off. If your friend makes it a point to use you as a conversation topic when you're not around, let them go. Everyone has this type of person in their life, trust me. It can be your best friend, a cousin, even sometimes a parent or grand-parent. Recognize the pattern and end it. You'll thank yourself later.
Oh and one last thing! I want to leave you with something sweet.
If sappy readings aren't your thing, you've reached the end of the story - goodbye and goodnight.
With love,
Honey B
