A Goodbye Letter You Made Me Write

Normally I would not write an article like this, but I am hoping by writing this other people will write theirs. and stop letting others control their hearts. Sometimes it is just better to move on then hold on. The goodbyes to their ex-lovers, and become their happiest selves, because we all really deserve that. So, enjoy the vulnerability and love I pour into this, because it is my goodbye to a person who has been my saving grace for a long time.

I'm writing this knowing you will probably never read it. However, I am also putting it on the internet where it has the ability to reach millions, so maybe you will. There is so much I want to say to, so many questions I have, so much I still want to share, but this is my goodbye, to us, to you, and to all the feelings I hold for you. I cannot love you anymore, and not because I don't want to. The pain, arguments, and overall heartbreak that has occurred between us has proven time and time again we will never be able to be together. We are soulmates found in the wrong lifetime.

I have become a different person, and so have you, we want different things, we need different things. That doesn't mean we won't love each other, and this won't hurt like it always does but it means it's time to take care of ourselves.

I will always have a soft spot for you. There's something about the way you smile that could turn my frown upside down. The way just hearing your voice calmed my anxiety, the way you have a passion for the things you love. The way you talk about cars and animals. How I fell for the way we could love each other, the way we took care of each other. And maybe I just choose to remember the good times more than the bad, because no matter how much pain there was I would always run back.

Until the end, you were always the one I wanted to tell everything to, from where I was going to what I was doing and how I was feeling, the only person I actually trusted. The night it ended I will never forget driving home so late, worried that you were already going to be asleep, I was going to tell you about moving out and rock climbing and how happy I was becoming again, but I saw the blocked message, and everything seemed to go dark again.

You were my world, my whole heart, and now you aren't, you can't be, you won't ever be again. The time, commitment, love and passion just faded without even being noticed, until it was gone. It takes everything out of me to not message you, beg you to come back and love me, but it's time to love myself more than I love you. It's time for me to build myself up without you by my side. I was already strong and independent; this will make me stronger.

Thank you for the things you have done for me for so long. Thank you for teaching me the lessons you did and loving me the way you did; I hope you become the happiest version of yourself and realize what you mean to the world. I only hope the best for you, and I'll miss you, I hope your healing process isn't too pain. Goodbye to the laughs we had, the messages we sent, the pictures we took, and the relationship we shared. So, for the last time, and closing all loose ends, to the moon and back.

Take of yourself and get better. And maybe you're right, we'll reconnect in the future. So for now...

Goodbye.