Land of the grizzlies, endless blue skies, and racism: welcome to Montana. It's actually pretty cool here, especially outside of city limits. However, as an out-of-stater, it's difficult to adjust to the lingo. This is where I come in! As a California native, I learned that what Montanans say is entirely different than what they mean. Here is some of the weird shit you'll hear in Montana:
1. Let's grab a pop.
Wtf is a pop? Do you mean a soda? Say it with me: s-o-d-a. Pop is an onomatopoeia, not a drink.
2. Crick.
Okay, crick is a word, but you're using it improperly. What you're referring to is a creek or a river. Besides, 'crick' sounds redneck as shit, so let's just all agree on river, shall we?
3. I'll pick you up in my rig.
I'm almost certain a "rig" has to do with sailing, but that's not what you mean, is it? Oh, a car or truck? Okay, I get it. Wait, no I don't. Just say you'll come pick me up in your truck.
4. Would you like a pasty?
*covers chest* Shit, are my nipples weird? Don't look! What? It's a food item? The f*ck? Y'all are weird--I mean, you all. Damn, Montana is getting to me.
5. Cowboy up.
Okay, I get this one but... can't you just say "man up" or "grow a pair" like the rest of society? Or, even better, just say, "handle your own shit, man."
6. Forest rat.
For all you ignorant city-folk (me), this is a deer. They really are forest rats, though.
7. Let's go to the beach.
I'm going to warn you in advance: it's never a beach. It's a lake with some sad looking sand sort of scattered around. It's like Montanans have never been to an ocean before.
8. Bunny hugger.
If someone calls you this, you must be from California, or another "hippy liberal" state.
9. Want some Rocky Mountain Oysters?
Seafood in Montana?! Nope. Just bull testicles. Fried. They're as unpleasant as they sound. I would honestly prefer Oysters, and I hate seafood.
And there you have it! If you're still confused after this, you'll get used to it. I've learned to just smile and nod when I hear a bizarre word or phrase and hope to Jesus that whatever they've suggested is normal.
