Nine Things My Dog Would Say If She Could Speak

Nine Things My Dog Would Say If She Could Speak

Ever wonder what your dog is really thinking? I have an idea.

I have always said if I could choose any super power it would be to have the ability to speak to animals. After a few years of being a "dog-mom" to my beautiful border-retriever, Trixie, I have successfully taught her how to bark on command, but that is sadly the closest she will ever come to speaking. She may never say any of these things to me verbally (probably a good thing- that would be a little creepy), but I have an idea or two about what she might say:

1. “Give me your attention. Yes, all of it! How dare you do your homework, pet the cat, use the toilet, or (insert literally any activity that doesn’t involve the dog here)”

Cue the adorable puppy-dog eyes. The nudge of the wet nose, the paw slap. If that doesn't work, she will scootch as close to you as possible, even sit on your lap with no invitation. She means business. In this case, I was sitting too close to the cats, I think I maybe acknowledged their presence once.

2. “Did I say you could stop petting me? No.”

Once they do get that undivided attention, if you stop you’re in trouble. Commence the aggressive nose nudges and paw slaps. In Trixie’s case, she will scootch as close to you as possible, probably lay on your homework, roll around a few times, whatever gets your attention.

3. "Mom, why do you put me in all these weird outfits? Don't you know I'm too big for this?"

Okay, so I know she's not a "lap dog" but I can't resist. She has several outfits, this one being the least obnoxious. I usually get a heavy sigh from her, but she still wears them with a big smile!

4. “Bring me! Bring me! Please don’t leave without me.”

If I could, I would bring her literally everywhere. I even feel guilty going to class or work. Trix, I'm just trying to hustle this degree so I can provide you with a better future!

5. “Please throw! No take, only throw!”

Okay, so this photo really just sums up what it is like to play “fetch” with Trixie. Here she is guarding her tennis ball with her life. As soon as I reach for it, she grabs it. If I give up, she brings it to me and drops it, only to repeat the previous steps. It’s only endearing sometimes. You just can't come between a dog and her tennis ball.

6. “Mom, you should really quit your day job and become a singer!”

I’m not making this up, guys. She loves my singing. She never covers her ears like everyone else does... well, not usually.

7. "What do you mean this isn't my toy?"

After the mourning of many shoes, socks and stuffed animals, I have officially given up on trying to pretend any of my belongings are "mine" anymore. She's too cute to argue with.

8. “I really, really, really missed you. You were gone FOREVER!”

Maybe I was away at college or at work, or maybe I was in the shower. No matter what it may be, she always greets me ecstatically, tail wagging. Her time on earth is so much shorter than mine, so 5 minutes seems like hours and days seem like years. I do my best to keep that in mind and to greet her in the way that she greets me, I don't care how many sloppy kisses that may take.

9. “You’re really weird sometimes, but I love you more than walks and my squeaky pig toy! That’s A LOT!”

I know you do. And I love you more than wine, ice cream and binge watching Netflix. That's A LOT!

Cover Image Credit: Alexandra Collier

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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I Will Always Call Myself A Dreamer

The new thing you should practice: reading the vibrations that surround you.


In "The Science That Will Change Your Future", Dr. Bruce Lipton talks about how everything in life communicates through vibrations. We can simplify everything, even to the atomic level, to good and bad vibes. Before you snort at the person who says you're giving off bad vibes, maybe consider this first. Dr. Lipton talks about how the gazelle doesn't go up to the lion and asks, "Are you my friend?", instead the gazelle can feel its bad vibes. How can the gazelle do this?

Vibrations do one of two things when they interfere with each other: mesh or clash. Good vibes are vibrations that mesh together. Bad vibes are vibrations that clash. The gazelle can sense its energy clashing with the energy of the lion (he terms this as destructive interference).

Dr. Lipton talks about how we are trained to not sense these vibrations. We see animals do it! Some people will tell you that cats just don't like them, for whatever reason. I have had many friends who said that if their dog didn't like you, then you probably aren't a good person.

Animals base everything off of their intuition to these vibrations; it is their key to survival. Everyone knows that dogs and cats can't see color. But have you ever really watched your pet? How their eyes dart around the room, or they growl at nothing? They are seeing things we aren't able to see. They are sensing vibrations in the room that we are not capable to sense.

What does any of this have to do with classifying yourself as a dreamer?

Those who are classified as dreamers are mainly those who pursue careers dealing with their artistic abilities. Having artistic abilities means you are more in-tune with not only your emotions but the emotions in the space around you. You are more perceptive of others and your surroundings. Thus, you are more in-tune with the vibrations that your art comes from. Your brain makes a neural connection between an emotion (a vibration), and what you produce (your art).

If you are a dreamer, you are unrealistic. You are perceived as driftwood; floating on idealism. If you are stiff and follow a designated path, you are practical and considered a "realist."

But who is more real? The one who ignores the vibrations in their environment; the businessman guiding the Caterpillars? Or the dreamer, who not only recognizes the vibes, but is able to portray them in a way that others can not only comprehend, but feel in their own ways?

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