9 Things To Do When You're Single In College Besides Focusing On A Man

9 Things To Do When You're Single In College Besides Focusing On A Man

Because why not?
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There is this cool concept I learned about in college called cuffing season. And by cool, I mean incredibly sad.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it refers to the fall and winter period in which the summer months dwindle and the need to have a honey grows at increasing rates. This so-called cuffing season isn’t the only season of the year where a single lady might be wishing she had her Jay-Z, though.

As January falls to a close, February approaches the itch resurfaces. And we all know what February is — red and pink everywhere and the season of love and adorable dates floods the streets and social media feeds. I’ve decided I might hibernate next month instead of facing all the cute couples.

That being said, maybe being a college student, there is more to celebrate in February than just guys picking up their dolls for a night on the town.

I vote we start celebrating ourselves this valentine’s day and learn to love yourself for how gosh darn wonderful you are without a man (or woman). These are some things that you can accomplish while being single this spring, because this is the time for you to be happy being you, not be happy being with a man. Happiness comes from within, not from a man.

1. Study abroad

Let’s face it, nothing is holding you back. No boyfriend back home for you to miss, and it will never be cheaper than now. Take some beautiful pictures in some beautiful places.

2. Find your style

Figure out which clothes make you feel most comfortable! Make a Pinterest board that includes all those sweaters and cute cheetah pumps you’re going to rock!

3. Take on another class this semester

Don’t bog yourself down, but if you feel like you can handle it, try a class that interests you! Better yourself, boo!

4. Find your coffee shop

Make it your second home, try different drinks and make sure the baristas know your name, become a regular. People watch, look your best, embrace your inner new Yorkers and sip on your cappuccino, sweetie!

5. Get in shape!

This is the only time in your life you’ll have an (arguably) free gym, take advantage of it! Look good, Feel good!

6. Find your voice

I cannot stress how important it is to find yourself before finding the one. Discover your passions, read up on things that interest you. Write in a journal and learn to love your own voice. It will get stronger & louder, I promise, even if it starts with a whisper.

7. Start a blog

You don’t even have to tell anyone about it. It can be your digital diary. That way, you can upload your pictures that we all know you love. Take time at least once a month to go back and re-read the posts that you have made. Appreciate the good times!

8. Join an Org

Find an organization on campus that you feel passionate about or one that would benefit your future. Go all in! Maybe try out executive board and spread all those wonderful ideas swirling in your head! Don’t be afraid. Be confident and get out there!

9. Practice self-care

Even though being single does come with more time and I can preach about it all I want, don’t shove down feelings you’re feeling. If you’re down, grab a facemask, take some silly selfies and read a book.

Remember these things this valentines day season! You are so capable of being great, all on your own.

Cover Image Credit: Erika Glover

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To The Girl Who's Still Crying Over the Guy She Never Dated

We've all been there, you never really dated but you might as well have...
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We’ve all been there. Every single one of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have been where you are; so let me just say, you’re not alone. No matter if your friends are the best people in the world, I’m sure they’ve had enough of your sadness over a boy who you were never really with. But that’s what’s scary, it feels like you were together. No matter the amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, no matter what, you had enough time to gain feelings for another person and be vulnerable; and that in itself is a tough pill to swallow. Now, the one person you thought would never hurt you, did just what they promised they wouldn’t do, and now you’re left putting the pieces of your life back together.

Enough of the sappy stuff. Let me tell you that life goes on. Whether over a boy, or a grade, or whatever it is, I have always told my friends, “You’re going to make it to tomorrow.” And although it seems like the hardest feat you’ve ever endured, you are going to make it to tomorrow. And then, you’re going to make it to the next day. So it may seem that the day you end things with the boy you thought you were going to be with, is the worst day in the world, you are going to make it to tomorrow.

But even though you are going to make it to tomorrow, that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t suck. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be afraid or feel weird going to the bar you once loved, or the restaurant you guys would go to a lot, or the most common place to study on campus, in fear of seeing him. All of those feelings of uncertainty are totally normal, and in time, it will fade.

My friend once told me, this too shall pass.

So while you’re sad, or crying, or complaining about this boy, your friends might be telling you, “Get over it, you were never really together.” But I promise, it may take a while (seemingly forever), and as hard as it may be to believe right now, you will make it to tomorrow, and this too shall pass. Remember that.

With love from,

The girl who knows what it's like to have to get over the boy she never dated

Cover Image Credit: onehdwallpaper

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When Everyone Around You Is In a Relationship And You're Still Single

You might feel pressure to start a relationship, but reconsider...

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I'm not sure how or when exactly it happened, but it suddenly seems like everyone I know is in a relationship. While I'm happy for them, it can be kinda...depressing. Nauseating. Exhausting.

It builds slowly at first: the subtle side-eye you give your friend as they're on the phone with their S.O., the little pang of jealousy you get when your cousin posts their engagement pictures on Facebook, the way you feel when your Snapchat Stories are full of people on cute dinner dates.

Suddenly, it's a Thursday afternoon and you just snapped over an Instagram post of your friend and his boyfriend on their anniversary. We've all been there. I may or may not be there currently.

The worst advice you can get when you're feeling down about not having an S.O. is "Don't worry! You'll find someone!"(Especially when it's coming from someone in a happy relationship).

I'm here to give you the actual advice that you (and I) need to hear. You do not need a relationship to be happy, satisfied, or whole.

Here's the truth: you're gonna be just fine without a relationship. You are young. You are educated. You are ambitious and have your whole future ahead of you.

You are a complete person on your own who does not need another person to validate you or make your life worth enjoying. I'm not saying a relationship can't be satisfying and fun. I am saying that being in a relationship is not the end all, be all of happiness.

If you are spending your time waiting for a relationship and looking for it in every person you meet, you can end up missing out on so much of your life. Instead of being jealous of every couple around you and being bitter that you can't seem to find the "right person," try figuring out how to enjoy spending time as an individual.

You will have more time to devote to exploring new interests, developing new skills, and meeting new people. Your social, emotional, and mental wellbeing will become priorities.

Plus, just because you aren't in a relationship or looking for a relationship, that doesn't mean you won't have romantic/sexual experiences. You can still go on dates and develop relationships with people you are attracted to without the pressure to turn it into a serious relationship. Once you remove that expectation from your mind, you might even find it easier to meet, talk to, and connect with people.

When you stop focusing all your energy and hopes onto being in a romantic relationship, you open the door to new experiences, opportunities, and people. Most importantly, you are able to refocus and recenter your life around growth as an individual, which will lead to a healthier and more solid basis for any future relationships.

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