1. Cheese sticks
I’m not talking about something from Sodexo. I’m talking about legit, great, cheesy-ass cheese sticks that are available to me, by the fountain, any time of day. Any time is cheese stick time. AM I RIGHT?! Three for a $1 maybe?
2. Something to take away that terrible smell that occurs right between the bookstore and Corbly.
Supply us with air freshener’s or just Febreeze the area 24/7 because it smells that bad. Also, do something about that weird smell that lingers in the Corbly Hall elevator, it smells like B.O. and nachos.
3. Stickers /visuals that say “Don’t bother me, I just want to get to class in peace.”
A lot of us get stopped by various people asking us to vote for something, buy something or people that could talk your ear off, but we really don’t want to hear it. These stickers would be a great warning signal for them to know not to bother us and just let us walk to wherever we are going without disruption.
4. Desks that don’t roll all over the classroom.
I’m trying to take notes, check my social media, charge my phone, and pay attention to the lecture, not play bumper cars with the student beside me.
5. Campus in a huge dome so we don’t get rained/snowed on.
Wouldn’t this be cool?! We’d look so futuristic and not have to carry umbrellas that we will more than likely leave in the classroom when class is over because we forgot about it. Also, this way the cheese sticks could be year round.
6. Nice officers who give parking tickets.
I understand that my time ran out on my meter as I’m walking to my car. If they’re going to give me a ticket, at least ask me how my day is going before you ruin it, I mean damn fam lets be nice people here. Maybe we could even go get some Black Sheep together and discuss how funny it was that you saw me walking to my car and STILL gave me a ticket… and get a quesadilla.
7. Force professors to use the Outlook email as their main source of communication.
Because, tbh I don’t think anyone looks at their Blackboard email so you might as well just use the main email like a normal person. Isn’t that what the email system is made for? PROFESSORS DO NOT EMAIL ON BLACKBOARD IT ISN’T AS EFFECTIVE AND WE JUDGE YOU FOR IT, HARD.
8. Get us a “reality” show deal from MTV and or E!
We’d be so interesting and I already have multiple story arcs created for the larpers, the RAs, Greek life, the Harless workers and so much more. Seriously, I can hear the Emmy’s calling our name.
9. Hire a popular singer to do a TV promo for #HerdFootball
Carrie Underwood has done it and Faith Hill has done it. Let’s get someone like Smash Mouth or even Jennifer Lopez to film one for us, I’m sure they’d be down and it would really up our cool factor!
